Category Archives: Uncategorized

Obama speaks to the Arabs, not the Muslim world in Cairo

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Just some food for thought from Indonesia: Obama speaks to the Arabs, not the Muslim world

In raising the spectre of nuclear Iran, Obama committed the very sin which Americans have so jealously guarded against in public life: The infusion of religion into the body politic.

What does the issue of Iran’s nuclear program have to do with Islam?

Obama did the right thing in raising the plight of Palestinians, and his remarks will receive a heartfelt welcome. But the prism of pain by which Indonesia and others perceive the issue is not of Islamic solidarity but of decolonialization and injustice.

It is the same sympathy felt for people subjected around the world.

Obama did the right thing in raising the plight of Palestinians, and his remarks will receive a heartfelt welcome. But the prism of pain by which Indonesia and others perceive the issue is not of Islamic solidarity but of decolonialization and injustice.

Other scholars have noted that it is a bit offensive that people didn’t consider Obama’s speech in Turkey as an address to the Muslim world. That is ironic since modern day Turkey rose from the ashes of 5 centuries of the Ottoman empire, the world’s last Caliphate. So, just for a friendly reminder that the face of global Islam is far more divorce than people imagine it to be, I thought I’d share some stats from the Largest Muslim population centers:

1 Indonesia 182,570,000
2 Pakistan 134,480,000
3 India 121,000,000
4 Bangladesh 114,080,000
5 Turkey 65,510,000
6 Iran 62,430,000
7 Egypt 58,630,000
8 Nigeria 53,000,000
9 Algeria 30,530,000
10 Morocco 28,780,000

Indonesia alone represents 15% of the entire Muslim population. And this short list indicates that the face of global Islam has a lot of Asian features. Yet we do not look to Indonesia and Malaysia, as major Muslim centers, to understand the successes and challenges Muslims face in social and political life. Sadly, the reality is that Obama was addressing the imagination of many Muslims. Like this article indicates, many see Arab issues as Muslim issues, as opposed to the political struggles as largely secular issues. Our solutions to today’s problems, however, should be informed by and imbued with our religious ethics. At the same time, we often see Arab practices as normative Islamic practices. By doing so, we undermine our own agency in applying universal Islamic beliefs and practices in ways that address the cultural and social conditions in our own communities and societies. Insha’Allah more on that later.

MARRYING OUTSIDE THE BOX – RACIAL HIERARCHIES & MARRYING THE INFIDEL

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For those across the pond.

MARRYING OUTSIDE THE BOX – RACIAL HIERARCHIES & MARRYING THE INFIDEL

Panel discussion with Imam Abu Eesa Niamatullah (Prophetic Guidance),
Sister Humera Khan (An-Nisa Society) and Ustadh Ayman Malik
(Muslim Marriage Coaching)*

Date: Wednesday 13th May 2009
Time: 6.15pm – 8pm (prompt start)
Venue: Idea Store Canary Wharf, Churchill Place,
Canary Wharf, London E14 5RB

In his Farewell Sermon, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said, “All mankind
is from Adam and Eve. An Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor
does a non-Arab have superiority over an Arab; also a white has no
superiority over a black nor does a black have superiority over a
white, except by piety and good action.”

Why are so many “born” Muslims obsessed with marrying “converts”?
In particular, why is it that white middle class professionals are
sought after while black Muslims are often not considered? Have we
really got over our post-colonial mentality where a hidden racial
hierarchy exists, especially amongst Muslims from Asian and Arab
backgrounds?

Sadly the opposite also holds true. Why are some black male converts
to Islam so insistent on marrying sisters of Arab or Asian origin,
sometimes erroneously believing that it is a litmus test of their
acceptance in the wider Muslim community? Why do they ignore our
black sisters?

How about the issue of marrying non-Muslims? Let’s face it, a lot
of Muslims, both male and female, have been dating and marrying
non-Muslims for some time.

“And do not marry the disbelieving women until they believe, and
indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a disbelieving
free woman, even though she may allure you. And give not (your
daughters) in marriage to the disbelieving men until they believe,
for verily a believing slave is better than a disbelieving free
man, even though he may allure you. The disbelievers invite you
to the Fire, but Allah invites you to Paradise and Forgiveness
by His Leave, and makes His signs clear to mankind so that they
may remember.” (Al-Baqarah, 2:221)

With a growing number of sisters frustrated in their search for
a so-called compatible Muslim man, the question begs – why can’t
they marry a non-Muslim? If I am a Muslim woman in my 30s and
have had little genuine interest shown by Muslim men, why can’t
I marry a “kafir” who appears more chivalrous, honest, caring,
and could even support me in ensuring that my offspring remain
Muslim? A similar argument could be applied in the case of a
non-Muslim woman.

These discussions will be interactive and questions will be taken
from the audience. This is your chance to seek honest answers to
questions that have been bothering you for a long time but which
organisations and movements are often too afraid to address.

All are welcome and entrance is free. However, spaces are limited
and seats will be allocated on a first come first served basis.

Islamic Circles will be raising funds for its different projects.
Note that this is an Islamic event, so perverts or those trying
to undermine Islam need not attend.

The Problem with Muslim Greetings

Posted in Hijab, Muslim Communities in America, Muslim Women, Race in America, Uncategorized by

وَإِذَا حُيِّيْتُم بِتَحِيَّةٍ فَحَيُّواْ بِأَحْسَنَ مِنْهَا أَوْ رُدُّوهَا إِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ حَسِيبًا
4:86 But when you are greeted with a greeting [of peace], answer with an even better greeting, or [at least] with the like thereof. Verily, God keeps count indeed of all things.

I’ve had the experience of traveling abroad, living in Arab societies, and staying in Arab homes both abroad and in America. I am particularly fond of three families that played important roles in the formation of the community that grew from masjid an-noor to the MCA. The Arab Americans I came to know in the Bay Area are some of the most hospitable and honorable people I know. Over the years I developed friendships and bonds with Arab, Black American, African, South Asian, Indonesian, Pacific Island, Eastern European, Vietnamese, Chinese, Latino/Chicano, and White American Muslim women with the start of a simple greeting. That greeting is the universal greeting that Muslims exchange by saying, “Salaam alaikum!” (Peace be upon you) and the return, “Wa ‘alaikum salaam” (And upon you be Peace).

As a religious minority in America, everyone I know who wears hijab, including myself, gets excited when someone greets them with respect and honor. It especially means a lot in this society where you get a lot of Americans cutting their eyes, looking at you with pity or apprehension because your outer garments displays your religion. Some ethnic groups are more enthusiastic about their salaams, while other times it is really about the fervor of an individual Muslim.

Arabs are known for elaborate and long personal greetings and farewells. They are also very polite in their speech, with honorific terms denoting class and gender. In Muslim societies, people don’t salaam everybody they encounter on the street. If they did, you wouldn’t get anywhere. Maybe it is possible in the village, but in large cities, you go about your business and only give greetings in personal encounters. But often, a person arriving into a small store, shop, class, or gathering will give salaams, and everyone returns it. Everyone returns it because they have at least the requisite knowledge that the return of the greeting is their religious duty.

In Philadelphia, and especially in the area where I live there are a lot of Muslims. Black American Muslim men occasionally greet me on the street. Muslim men don’t always greet each other and vice versa because it may seem inappropriate to talk to the opposite gender. But that problem doesn’t exist whenever I see Black American Muslim women, where they often give me warm enthusiastic salaams. The White American Muslim women I encounter within stores will break a small and offer salaams. I’ve seen women from South East Asia whose faces have brightened with wide smiles as gave me the universal greetings of peace. But there is a big problem with Muslim greetings in one high profile group, immigrant Arab women who happen to wear hijab. Perhaps it is a Philadelphia thing, but I have heard of similar things in places like Chicago and Detroit. I’d further this by saying that the problem is not with Arab men. I may be wrong, but I haven’t heard of Arab men refusing to greet Black men in this city. The other day, I was walking with my husband and an Arab cab driver honked, waved, and gave us the fist. I see this problem as gender specific. Nor do I don’t think it is is an immigrant women versus Black American women thing. Little South Asian aunties will return salaams too. And on college campuses, such as UPenn and Temple, Muslim girls from all backgrounds are all happy to give salaams and even break out in a smile when they see a Muslim. I’ve experienced it and have spoken with some Black American Muslim women in Philadelphia who have noticed the reluctance of some Arab women to give greetings and the refusal of some to even return someones greetings and salutations.

My personal experience brought it home. On our way back home from errands in Center City a few weeks ago, my husband and I decided to stop by the Trader Joe’s which was right by the trolley stop. As we walked to get the front door, an Arab women in hijab came out and I said out loud, “Salaam alaikum.” She just walked straight past me without acknowledging we existed. My husband said maybe she didn’t hear me. As he went to get a cart he repeated the greeting. She acted like he was invisible. We are supposed to make seventy-something excuses, right? Let me think of some: 1. she was deaf, 2. she was blind, 3. she was mentally disabled, 4. she never read the Qur’an all the way through, 5. she never read a book about how to be a Muslim, 6. she never picked up a hadith book in her life, 7. we scared her by saying salaam alaikum too loud, 8. she must have saw me and thought I was one of those hijabi bandits 9. ummmm, I am running out of legitimate excuses… The reality is, my cousin who is Muslim and has lived in Philly all her life has had several occasions where Arab women have refused to return the greeting. One woman in a halal store refused on three separate occasions. One time, the woman saw my cousin from behind and mistook her for someone else and said, “Salaam alaikum!” When my cousin turned around and returned the greeting the woman looked in disgust that a Black woman gave her the greeting.

As I run my social experiment, I am still waiting for my hypothesis to be verified or falsified. But for the most part, whenever I’ve encountered immigrant Arab women–no matter how piously dressed–rarely initiate greetings. Since I’m trying to avoid confrontation or feelings of anger, I tend to pass them by without giving them salutations and greetings. I have either two options, to woman up and nurse my wounded feelings as I get dissed on a regular. Or I can tighten up my Arabic so I can give them a mini khutbah on the rights of their brothers and sisters.

The irony of this is that the above mentioned verse in the Qur’an states that you are required to return greetings in kind, but it is better to extend them. The reality is, even if you had a major dispute with another Muslim if they were to give the greeting, you return it because it is their right. The refusal to return greetings is a sheer sign of arrogance and prejudice. To me, it is a major sign of hypocrisy. It also sows seeds of discord and mistrust within our community. I think it should be addressed by the imams and religious leaders because this is not a way for any Muslim woman to conduct herself. This is why I hope that this post trickles up, that people read it, that they remind their moms, wives, daughters, sisters, aunts, and friends that this is their brothers’ and sisters’ right.

Pop Versus Soda

Posted in humor, Uncategorized by

Admitted, being born in New Jersey and growing up mostly in California, I find the idea of not having access to a coast stifling. I think some exceptions may apply to Chicago and Detroit because they are near the Great Lakes. The first time I ever heard someone call their carbonated soft drink pop was when I moved in with my grad school roommate in 2004. She, like my husband, was from Michigan. I contributed this quirkiness to them both being from an innerstate. While the Great Lakes are really big, they still aren’t oceans.

You can see the map of generic usage for carbonated soft drinks:
Pop Versus Soda
I have a bias against those who would call any carbonated drink coke. Don’t ever call my Sprite a Coke!! The main exception to that would be my grandma, who was originally from Georgia. Nobody steps on grandma Sara’s toes.

You can participate in the ongoing study here.

How Lack of Accountability Led to Rise of a Monster

Posted in Domestic Violence, Muslim Communities in America, Muslim Men, Muslim Women, Uncategorized by

Zerqa Abid wrote a very important post that highlighted some of the issues and concerns that I have with accountability in our Muslim communities. How could we have allowed someone like Muzzammil Hassan, a Muslim man of questionable moral character with legal documentation of a history of abuse, to rise to such a position of leadership?

It’s been five days now that my family along with the whole American Muslim community has been in shock. The fact that Muzzammil was married to my first cousin before marrying the victim still horrifies us. Ms. Zubair was his third wife. Both of his earlier wives filed divorce on the same grounds of severe domestic violence and abuses.

My cousin lived with him for only a year. Yet, it took her several years to get rid of the fear of living with a man in marriage. He was known as violent and abusive in the community. He had nothing to do with Islam. He had changed his name from Syed Muzzammil Hassan to Mo Steve Hassan. He had no background of community service or involvement in the Mosque or in any other organization. Neither his character and nor his faith were sound. In addition, he had no background or expertise in TV production or media.

But it did not matter. Even with this bad reputation, horrible background and lack of experience in media market, he still got the stage at the most reputable American Muslim conventions. Our leaders and established organizations did not bother to vet him. No questions or flags were raised about him. He was introduced at these conventions with huge respect and the Muslim community was told to give him generous funds for Bridges TV.

…
The surprise was changed into shock and worry when I learned that Bridges TV was owned and operated by the same Muzzammil Hassan who I knew as a serious criminal. To me domestic violence is a serious crime and a person’s character must be judged by the way he deals with his family. At my return, I warned some community leaders, but the response was not encouraging. People told me that his personal life may be messed up, but he is doing a good job so we should support him no matter what.

…

The Vice President of Islamic Society of North America, Imam Mohamed Hagmagid Ali, has posted an open letter on ISNA’s website. He writes, “Our community needs to take strong stand against abusive spouses and we should not make it easy for them to remarry if they chose a path of abusive behavior.”

What about making community leadership easy for them, Imam?

Shouldn’t Islamic organizations also take responsibility of vetting new comers before presenting them on the stage? Common people rely on organizational leadership and judgment.
Vetting of community leader has been established since the time of Prophet Muhammad (may peace be upon him) and is now in practice within the conscious communities all over the world….

Clearly, this is a rare case that has ignited the nation’s imagination. It is fodder for Islamaphobes and Muslims throughout the country are scrambling trying to deal with the PR damage. While I do not feel that I have to go around apologizing for every wrong action a Muslim does, I decided to write about this case because it brings to light some underlying issues that are poorly addressed in our community. There is little accountability in our communities. Every media report reminds us that Muzzammil was a respected and influential member of the Muslim community. This is why it is absolutely imperative that we not shield abusers and turn a blind eye when we see something funky go on even with the most promising and prized leaders.

My friend recounted in horror about a case a few years back in the Bay Area where a South Asian Muslim man had beaten his wife so badly that she had to be hospitalized. Both of us were hurt and angered when we found out that a number of people in the community came out to support the abuser. It is this type of backwards thinking that not only infects immigrant communities, but it is prevalent in convert communities where the jailhouse Islam and criminal culture is prevalent. Sometimes communities will give shelter to convicted sexual offenders and violent criminals. On rare occasions those communities get raided by the FBI. Before we lend some material support, let alone marry off some hapless new convert sister to sketchy Muslim man, do we do any background and criminal reports? And women, when you are marrying someone who has been divorced, has it ever occurred to you to have an honest and upfront conversation with the ex-wife? Do you think you can do it better than she did? Or are you afraid that you may hear something you don’t want to hear? Why didn’t Aasiya’s family contact the first two wives? Why did everyone fail to look into the divorce cases?

I’ve heard cases where a Muslim leader used his wife’s work, treated her poorly, was booted out of one community to only cross the country and set up shop somewhere else. On several occasions I’ve heard stories from the mouths of women that really shocked me. Too often the women refuse to identify the leaders who abuse their power in an effort to not backbite. Often these stories are dismissed as gossip. Our Muslim communities need to start listening to women a lot more. A large part of it lies in what Tariq Nelson calls “the culture of denial pretense,” the one where we are always trying to cover up our bad deeds and our brothers’ (but not so much the sisters’).

RESPONDING TO THE KILLING OF AASIYA HASSAN: AN OPEN LETTER TO THE LEADERS OF AMERICAN MUSLIM COMMUNITIES

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A few weeks ago, I ran into Asma [last name], who runs a Muslim women’s shelter in Baltimore. I expressed my interest in wanting to volunteer because I know that many Muslim women who are fleeing an abusive marriage have few places to go. When I first wrote about domestic violence in this blog post, I was very encouraged to hear that Muslim leaders like Imam Johari in DC were taking proactive steps towards addressing domestic violence in our communities. But when this story broke, I was horrified and deeply concerned about the continual violence against women. But what type of hatred and rage goes into a beheading? So many of us in the Muslim community are still in shock, unable to fathom how this could have happened. ISNA has written an open letter Muslim community leaders calling them to action.

RESPONDING TO THE KILLING OF AASIYA HASSAN: AN OPEN LETTER TO THE LEADERS OF AMERICAN MUSLIM COMMUNITIES

By Imam Mohamed Hagmagid Ali
Executive Director, ADAMS Center
Vice-President, The Islamic Society of North America

The Islamic Society of North America (ISNA) is saddened and shocked by the news of the loss of one of our respected sisters, Aasiya Hassan whose life was taken violently. To God we belong and to Him we return (Qur’an 2:156). We pray that she find peace in God’s infinite Mercy, and our prayers and sympathies are with sister Aasiya’s family. Our prayers are also with the Muslim community of Buffalo who have been devastated by the loss of their beloved sister and the shocking nature of this incident.

This is a wake up call to all of us, that violence against women is real and can not be ignored. It must be addressed collectively by every member of our community. Several times each day in America, a woman is abused or assaulted. Domestic violence is a behavior that knows no boundaries of religion, race, ethnicity, or social status. Domestic violence occurs in every community. The Muslim community is not exempt from this issue. We, the Muslim community, need to take a strong stand against domestic violence. Unfortunately, some of us ignore such problems in our community, wanting to think that it does not occur among Muslims or we downgrade its seriousness.

I call upon my fellow imams and community leaders to never second-guess a woman who comes to us indicating that she feels her life to be in danger. We should provide support and help to protect the victims of domestic violence by providing for them a safe place and inform them of their rights as well as refer them to social service providers in our areas.

Marriage is a relationship that should be based on love, mutual respect and kindness. No one who experiences a marriage that is built on these principles would pretend that their life is in danger. We must respond to all complaints or reports of abuse as genuine and we must take appropriate and immediate action to ensure the victim’s safety, as well as the safety of any children that may be involved.

Women who seek divorce from their spouses because of physical abuse should get full support from the community and should not be viewed as someone who has brought shame to herself or her family. The shame is on the person who committed the act of violence or abuse. Our community needs to take a strong stand against abusive spouses. We should not make it easy for people who are known to abuse to remarry if they have already victimized someone. We should support people who work against domestic violence in our community, whether they are educators, social service providers, community leaders, or other professionals.

Our community needs to take strong stand against abusive spouses and we should not make it easy for them to remarry if they chose a path of abusive behavior. We should support people who work against domestic violence in our community, whether they are educators or social service providers. As Allah says in the Qur’an: “O ye who believe! Stand firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do” (4:136).

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) never hit a women or child in his life. The purpose of marriage is to bring peace and tranquility between two people, not fear, intimidation, belittling, controlling, or demonizing. Allah the All-Mighty says in the Qur’an: “Among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are signs for those who reflect” (30:21),

We must make it a priority to teach our young men in the community what it means to be a good husband and what the role the husband has as a protector of his family. The husband is not one who terrorizes or does harm and jeopardizes the safety of his family. At the same time, we must teach our young women not to accept abuse in any way, and to come forward if abuse occurs in the marriage. They must feel that they are able to inform those who are in authority and feel comfortable confiding in the imams and social workers of our communities.

Community and family members should support a woman in her decision to leave a home where her life is threatened and provide shelter and safety for her. No imam, mosque leader or social worker should suggest that she return to such a relationship and to be patient if she feels the relationship is abusive. Rather they should help and empower her to stand up for her rights and to be able to make the decision of protecting herself against her abuser without feeling she has done something wrong, regardless of the status of the abuser in the community.

A man’s position in the community should not affect the imam’s decision to help a woman in need. Many disasters that take place in our community could have been prevented if those being abused were heard. Domestic violence is not a private matter. Any one who abuses their spouse should know that their business becomes the business of the community and it is our responsibility to do something about it. She needs to tell someone and seek advice and protection.

Community leaders should also be aware that those who isolate their spouses are more likely to also be physically abusive, as isolation is in its own way a form of abuse. Some of the abusers use the abuse itself to silence the women, by telling her “If you tell people I abused you, think how people will see you, a well-known person being abused. You should keep it private.”

Therefore, to our sisters, we say: your honor is to live a dignified life, not to put on the face that others want to see. The way that we measure the best people among us in the community is to see how they treat their families. It is not about how much money one makes, or how much involvement they have in the community, or the name they make for themselves. Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) said, “The best among you are those who are best to their families.”

It was a comfort for me to see a group of imams in our local community, as well as in the MANA conference signing a declaration promising to eradicate domestic violence in our community. Healthy marriages should be part of a curriculum within our youth programs, MSA conferences, and seminars as well as part of our adult programs in our masajid and in our khutbahs.

The Islamic Society of North America has done many training workshops for imams on combating domestic violence, as has the Islamic Social Service Associate and Peaceful Families Project. Organizations, such as FAITH Social Services in Herndon, Virginia, serve survivors of domestic violence. All of these organizations can serve as resources for those who seek to know more about the issues of domestic violence.

Faith Trust Institute, one of the largest interfaith organizations, with Peaceful Families Project, has produced a DVD in which many scholars come together to address this issue. I call on my fellow imams and social workers to use this DVD for training others on the issues of domestic violence. (For information, go to the website: http://www.faithtrustinstitute.org/). For more information, or to access resources and materials about domestic violence, please visit http://www.peacefulfamilies.org.

In conclusion, Allah says in the Qur’an “O my son! Establish regular prayer, enjoin what is just, and forbid what is wrong; and bear with patient constancy whatever betide thee; for this is firmness (of purpose) in (the conduct of) affairs” (31:17). Let us pray that Allah will help us to stand for what is right and leave what is evil and to promote healthy marriages and peaceful family environments. Let us work together to prevent domestic violence and abuse and especially, violence against women.

I pray that she is brought to justice. May Allah have mercy on Aasiya and console her family and loved ones. Please make du’a for this women, whose promising life was cut too short. I hope that Muslim leaders heed this call and that more of us support women and children who are in danger.

Justice Served: Life for Fake Mansa Musa Wannabe

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Alhumdulillah, finally some justice served for this fake Mansa Musa wannabe. I vaguely remember this case nearly a decade ago, Children’s abuse evident, doctor testifies, during trial of Mansa Musa Muhummed:

Some of seven children and teenagers who were removed from their father’s Aguanga home were so deprived of food and nurturing that they looked half their age, a pediatrician testified Wednesday.

In 1999, Marlon Boddie was almost 20. He was 4 ½ feet tall and weighed 78 pounds when Dr. Clare Sheridan-Matney examined him and six of his siblings after they were removed from defendant Mansa Musa Muhummed’s home.

“He didn’t look like a 20-year-old. He looks like a kid,” said Sheridan-Matney, who is the head of forensic pediatrics at Loma Linda University Medical Center. Boddie’s weight and height would have been normal for a 10- or 11-year-old, the doctor said.

I didn’t get to follow the case because I was abroad last year. But I was glad to hear that the victims have some vindication.
Calif. polygamist gets life term for family crimes

A self-proclaimed polygamist was sentenced Friday to seven consecutive life prison terms for torturing some of his 19 children and falsely imprisoning two of his three wives.

Mansa Musa Muhummed, 55, also was sentenced to additional terms totaling 16 years and eight months by Riverside County Superior Court Judge F. Paul Dickerson III.

“If his appeals are exhausted and he does not prevail, he will die in prison,” said Peter Morreale, Muhummed’s attorney.

Muhummed was convicted last June of seven counts of torture, two counts of false imprisonment and additional charges of child endangerment and spousal abuse.

At his trial, several of Muhummed’s children and stepchildren testified against him, telling jurors they had been beaten, starved, strung up by their feet and forced to eat vomit and feces.

Muhummed — whose given name was Richard Boddie — denied the charges and blamed one of his wives for the alleged abuse. He was a convert to the Muslim faith, which he said gave him the right to have multiple wives.

He was arrested in 1999 after one of his wives slipped a 13-page letter to a postal service worker describing the abuse.

Sentencing came nearly a decade after Muhummed’s arrest. His trial followed nine years of delays in which he represented himself and changed lawyers multiple times.

Journey Into America

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How do Muslims fit into contemporary American society? And how have the uniquely American ideals of pluralism, openness, and cultural integration held up in post-9/11 American society? Those are the driving questions behind “Journey into America,” a cross-country adventure led by Ambassador Akbar Ahmed, renowned Islamic scholar and author, and his team of enthusiastic young Americans. They will explore America and American identity in a post-September 11 world during their journey, which will take them to cities big and small, from Birmingham, Alabama, Nashville, Tennessee, and Salt Lake City to New York City, Boston, Chicago, and Los Angeles.

Sometimes I wonder what planet I’ve been on to miss things like this. And then I remember, “Oh, I was in Cairo for most of 2008.” As I was preparing to head back to the States after a year of being away, Akbar Ahmed began his Journey Into America, exploring Muslim life in some unexpected places.

Letter From a Brother

Posted in Black Families, Convert, Gender Relations in Islam, Marriage, Muslim Communities in America, Muslim Men, Muslim Women, Relationships, Uncategorized by

For a long time, I’ve wanted to post a link to Charles Catching’s post titled, A Letter From a Brother.

It should be easy for me to close my eyes and ears, to ignore all the problems BAM women and men are having with one another but I have daughters. One sister responded to me being concerned about my daughters by saying other brothers are simply disconnected, that they do not relate their objectification and mistreatment of BAM women to their daughters, and if she is right then woe to us.
….

In the past year I’ve read numerous blogs and articles about the suffering hearts of Black women. I have heard countless conversations depicting the atrocious acts of Black men against women. Keep in mind here, I’m talking about Black Muslim women, women who came to the religion for God and a good man! If you haven’t read, and you probably haven’t because you’re a guy, you should read a book called Engaged Surrender: African-American Women and Islam along with some critiques, questions, and concerns from other Muslim women about the book. Women have absolutely no problem reading the latest from a male scholar/author/activist/blogger about issues in the community. But hey, if women are championing mens’ causes don’t you think you need to take a second look at theirs?

…

Just the other day egg was thrown on my face by a co-worker. The African-American woman praised Black Muslim men stating that the reason she loved us so much was because of our respect and love for “the Black Woman”. I wanted to receive her praise as a truth but no longer had I started puffing out my chest when I got an horrible email, a story I will share in a moment. Seeing as though this woman is 50+ years old, I gathered that she was speaking more about the men in the Nation of Islam and not of Muslim men in America at large and that was sad. At that very moment, I felt my obligation went beyond informing her of any differences between the Nation of Islam and others to factually stating that many African-American Muslim women are well beyond fed-up, sick-and-tired, and too-through with brothers because of our shady ways. These women came to Islam hoping to find protection and security in addition to monotheism and have been struggling to accept the prophetic message against the backdrop of criminals, deadbeats, cheaters, liars, bigots, and bootleggers posing as lovers of Allah.
…
Lastly, as you read this there are others doing the same, wondering if I have any solutions or if I am even qualified to talk to African-American Muslim men about marriage. I have two answers; first, it’s time for those of us who have decent marriages to help others cultivate the same for it is so easy to read about horror stories all day. I know single sisters who have never been married swearing off men because of these stories. They need happily married Muslim women to look up to and brothers need solid examples, not charlatans. Secondly, I have daughters, and there is just no way on this earth I’m going to subject them to the kind of nonsense present today so over time, as it permits itself, I will continue this letter of sorts to my brothers, hoping that someone out there heeds the call to be more and do more without wanting more.

I frankly, was shocked by the treatment of women in the sunni Muslim community. A number of womanizers use their Muslim celebrity status and their close relationship with leaders in the community to prey on women and misuse their position to garner free services. I’ve written before about pathological narcissists and as I stated they are often charismatic. I am not saying that we should start gossiping to uncover everybody’s dirt or create the religious police with some gestapo like investigation capacities, but our leadership should take active steps to ensure that the brothers in their circle are upstanding members of the community. If they have some dirt in the past, they should repent and be currently living upstanding lives. I believe we should forgive our brothers and sisters who make honest efforts to clean up their acts. At the same time, anybody with some nefarious dealings, should be checked. The sad thing is, the women who have been preyed upon and subject to multiple sham marriages is seen as damaged goods. Women who have even been in legitimate marriages, but are divorced are often seen as damaged goods. However, a man who leaves a trail of broke-up women is never seen as damaged. Rather he is a pimp, and a lot of young brothers celebrate him.

I had a conversation with a man from the Nation of Islam who commented that sunni Muslims often show very little respect for their women. He said, “Sunni brothers are just HARSH with their women.” He believed that some of it was the misogyny that is now prevalent in our culture, but also due to the adoption of some foreign attitudes towards women. In some ways I agree, its like a number of convert men adopted the misogyny from the BAM movement and Hip Hop culture and combined it with the structures of gender relations from the Middle East and South Asia. It is as if they gained the worst of both cultures when it comes to dealing with women–misogyny and patriarchy. The same man recounted a story about how a brother who was going to jumu’ah made his wife drop him off at the door and she had to go part the car and walk a long distance in the rain to get into the crummy women’s section. He also commented that there was nothing in place in the sunni Muslim community to protect convert women from predators.

Not all of us are wallowing in misery. And there are a number of men, like Charles, who are appalled by the current state of affairs. Simply put Charles is calling all the ethical brothers, especially the married brothers, to provide examples. There are countless examples of good men who are striving to be good to their wives, daughters, sisters, mothers, cousins, associates, friends, neighbors, and co-workers. Please check out the site and respond to the brother’s call.

Get By

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Artist: Talib Kweli
Album: Quality
Record: Get By
Release: 2002

[Talib]
Yeah.. my Lord.. yeah

[Verse 1: Talib]
We sell, crack to our own out the back of our homes
We smell the musk at the dusk in the crack of the dawn
We go through “Epidodes II,” like “Attack of the Clones”
Work ’til we break our back and you hear the crack of the bone
To get by.. just to get by
Just to get by, just to get by
We commute to computers
Spirits stay mute while you eagles spread rumors
We survivalists, turned to consumers
To get by.. just to get by
Just to get by, just to get by
Ask Him why some people got to live in a trailer, cuss like a sailor
I paint a picture with the pen like Norman Mailer
Me Abuela raised three daughters all by herself, with no help
I think about a struggle and I find the strength in myself
These words, melt in my mouth
They hot, like the jail cell in the South
Before my nigga Core bailed me out
To get by.. just to get by
Just to get by, just to get by
We do or die like Bed-Stuy through the red sky
with the window of the red eye
Let the lead fly, some G. Rap shit, “Livin’ to Let Die”

[Chorus: Background singers]
This morning, I woke up
Feeling brand new and I jumped up
Feeling my highs, and my lows
In my soul, and my goals
Just to stop smokin, and stop drinkin
And I’ve been thinkin – I’ve got my reasons
Just to get (by), just to get (by)
Just to get (by), just to get (by)

[Talib and background singers]
(ba ba ba, ba da bada, ba da bada, ba da bada, ba da badahh
Just to get (by), just to get (by)
Just to get (by by by by by by)
(ba ba ba, ba da bada, ba da bada, ba da bada, ba da badahh
Just to get (by), just to get (by)
Just to get (by by by by by by)

[Verse 2: Talib]
We keeping it gangster say “fo shizzle”, “fo sheezy” and “stayin crunk”
Its easy to pull a breezy, smoke trees, and we stay drunk
Yo, our activism attackin the system, the blacks and latins in prison
Numbers of prison they victim black in the vision
Shit and all they got is rappin to listen to
I let them know we missin you, the love is unconditional
Even when the condition is critical, when the livin is miserable
Your position is pivotal, I ain’t bullshittin you
Now, why would I lie? Just to get by?
Just to get by, we get fly
The TV got us reachin for stars
Not the ones between Venus and Mars, the ones that be readin for parts
Some people get breast enhancements and penis enlargers
Saturday sinners Sunday morning at the feet of the Father
They need somethin to rely on, we get high on all types of drug
When, all you really need is love
To get by.. just to get by
Just to get by, just to get by
Our parents sing like John Lennon, “Imagine all the people watch”
We rock like Paul McCartney from now until the last Beatle drop

[Chorus: Background singers]
This morning, I woke up
Feeling brand new and I jumped up
Feeling my high’s, and my low’s
In my soul, and my goals
Just to stop smoking, and stop drinking
And I’ve been thinking – I’ve got my reasons
Just to get (by), just to get (by)
Just to get (by), just to get (by)

[Talib: repeat 2x – with background singers]
Yoyoyo, yo
Some people cry, and some people try
Just to get by, for a piece of the pie
You love to eat and get high
We decieve when we lie, and we keepin it fly

Yoyoyo, yo
When, the people decide, to keep a disguise
Can’t see they eyes, see the evil inside
But there’s people you find
Strong or feeble in mind, I stay readin the signs