Traveling to Muslim majority countries, you may find some things that do not seem to jive well with our (Western) understanding of Islam. I remember living in Fez in Summer of 2005, where I encountered other Western Muslims who had to come to terms with the contradictions of tradition and Islam. There were two British Muslims, one a convert and another from a South Asian background, who were so appalled by folk religion that they wanted to high tail it out of there. As Salafis, they condemned the innovation they saw everywhere. I wasn’t as interested in condemning Morocco as a whole country. My rudimentary training in ethnography gave me a certain tolerance for folk religion. I was interested in the roots of some practices, whether or not they were indigenous and reflected Berber folklore or influenced by sub-Saharan African traditional religions brought over by descendants of slaves.

The previous year, I had travelled to Morocco for a six week summer program. We went to various sites to see cultural and religious practices. On one of these trips, we passed by the shrine of Moulay Idris II in Fez, noted as a women’s masjid. You can enter Fez’s Old City in one of several gates and walk through winding narrow streets that are like arteries in an organic body. Buildings merge into the ancient city scape, and your senses are assaulted with all sorts of sights, smells, and sounds, some good and some bad. At Moulay Idriss, women light candles and burn incense for fertility. I remember seeing padlocks tied to the grate. For hundreds of years women placed locks on the grate after praying to Moulay Idriss to help them solve a dilemma, a difficult husband, unruly child, or help them conceive and deliver a child. Today, students place the padlock for their examinations.

I was never a superstitious Muslim, but I heard my fair share of scary Jinn stories. In a society where there is a 25% unemployment rate and most people are underemployed and poor compensated, hard times are often blamed on curses and jinns. Just as psychological illness is blamed on Jinn. Once, we visited the shrine of Sidi Hamdush and saw the oracle that was just below the shrine. The View from Fez has some beautiful pictures of the Moroccan Sufi Festival Sidi Ali. Out of respect and fear of reprisal, I did not take pictures of the oracle, the man who did not cut his hair, beard, and seemed to not have bathed in months. Outside of the oracle, was a line of shops selling items that a pilgrim could sacrifice at the oracle. The oracle would read look at people and tell them what jinn was possessing them and possible ways to excorcise that jinn. Moroccan authorities are very uncomfortable with Westerners visiting these places, mainly because they don’t want to draw too much attention to controversial ecstatic sufi practices. Near the shrine, was a spring where women bathed with hopes that it would help with fertility.

Once I remove that scholarly lens, I try to think about what do these experiences mean to me as an American Muslim. It raises important questions regarding espousing beliefs that run counter to the belief system we espouse. My observations in Egypt, Kuwait, and Morocco help me see that no one society has Islam on lock. In order words, we all have bits and pieces that we try to string together. My experiences remind me how easy it is to continually incorporating thought patterns and belief systems which run counter to tawheed. Importantly, it makes me grateful, in many ways, that I have access to learning where I was able to learn about Islam relatively free from cultural baggage and superstition. Islam freed me from perpetual fear of jealousy, curses, randomness, capricious spirits, and emptiness. I’ve learned that Allah has my back and I don’t need to go to a special holy person to pray for me or carry around some amulet to protect me from harm. There is no transformation or power except through Allah.

Being a practicing Muslim in America requires critical thinking and creativity, as well as perseverance. One can remain practice comfortably at home, but working and interacting with people outside of Muslim establishments can be a challenge, especially for women. This is especially the case when it comes time to make salat (the ritual prayer that Muslims make 5 times a day). Normally when I plan my errands, I take into consideration prayer times. I will often wait till after dhuhr (afternoon prayer) before leaving the house and limit my trips so that I will be home in time to make Asr(late noon). If I can’t do that, then I will map out local masajid (with actual women’s section) where I can stop. Sometimes, however, a masjid is not near by. Even the best planning doesn’t work out so well. That is why you have to plan ahead and be prepared.

Every Muslim should have a Muslim survival. The survival kit can consist of a number of items. But the basics that ensure Muslim ritual purity and a clean place for prayer are, a water bottle, a prayer mat, and proper attire.

Over the years I have had to come up with make-shift solutions for wudu (ritual ablution) when there is not a bathroom or faucet in sight, clean prayer areas when my prayer mat is in another state, or a private space to make my salat (ritual prayer). I’ve made wudhu with bottled water because the bathrooms were so scary. I’ve made sajdah on notebook paper. And I’ve prayed in dressing rooms or between cars in parking lots. I’ve even seen women pray in sheets when they couldn’t find their prayer outfit in the dark.

Although there are times when we have to resort to desperate measures, there are inventive Muslims who are trying to make our lives easier. I’ve seen beautifully designed prayer outfits that fold up in convenient pouches. I own a few light weight rugs that I take with me on long errand runs. I even have my own batter powered handheld bidet. Still, I’m anticipating even greater quality of items, such as compasses, travel rugs, micro-light prayer outfits, and bidets that can help make life easier.There are several examples on the internet including the following:

• Wudu Mate A pocket size container that you can fill up.
• Pocket Prayer Rug
• Muslim Travel Buddy is a kit that includes compass, collapsable istinjah, prayer rug that folds up to pocket size, kufi, and tasbih counter.

My husband’s friend has a more involved Muslim survival kit than the one mentioned above. I addition to the water bottle his kit includes a bottle of Lysol, bleach cleaner, paper towels, a squeeze bottle for istinjah, Tinactin to avoid athlete’s foot contracted from damp rugs, and flip flops to avoid contracting athlete’s feet from the hamam ship ships. He uses this kit to survive the hazards of the men’s restrooms in masajid. My husband recounts the horrors of men’s bathrooms which are notorious across all cultures. And even I’ve been to scary bathrooms frequented by women. The worst places were the women’s bathrooms in many Cairo masajid. The stench spilled over into the women’s sections of the prayer hall. Sadly, I admit there were times when I decided to make up my prayer at home for fear that I’d trail some urine or fecal matter on my clothes. I think this is why many uninformed Muslims think that if your feet touch the floor of a bathroom, it breaks your wudhu. While it may not break your wudhu, in many Muslim bathrooms, one slip up may soil your clothes with an impurity that needs to be ritually cleaned three times before you can pray in it. I’m not a scholar, so I’ll defer that issue to a faqih. But back to my point, whether you are camping in the wilderness of North America, in a Muslim country, or doing errands near your local American Muslim community, you may need to have your survival kit ready. Are you ready?

The life an educator has its highs and lows. Some days are exhilarating, as break down a difficult lesson or skill set and catch a glimpse of that spark of eureka in a number of my students’ eyes. There are, however, times when the day just drones on and I ponder my existence as a teacher. This is how I feel proctoring marathon sessions of the PSSA standardized exams. The day drags on, as I sit for hours deprived of meaningful student-teacher interaction. While they fill in bubbles for hours, I try to grade homework and quizzes. But generally, the lack of interaction lulls me to sleep. I try to get work done, but reminding students to not talk while exams are still out interrupt my thought process. The life of an educator means you have to find little joys in otherwise thankless days. Hence, doodling takes a new life: drawings from the teacher’s desk. While my students studied and examed away, I drew and stuff on my desk. Each day I picked something different using a number two pencil and some scratch paper.

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In the past, I have mentioned the tremendous need that the American Muslim community in Philadelphia has for social services such as shelters, schools, reentry programs, job training, conflict resolution, counselign services, and food banks. There are many people starting programs, and whenever I see something of promise I try to promote it because it gives me hope. One, it reminds me that there are people who are dedicated and are committed to improving our community and contributing to society. Two, because these efforts are signs of positive growth within our community. Just today, I learned of another project that put a smile on my face. It is a fundraising project for a senior housing development from the MECCA CDC (Masjidullah Economic Community Corporation of America).

About the Jewels of Islam
Hajja Rafiqa Abdul Rasheed, M.S., Founder and Coordinator of the Jewels of Islam Program met with Hajjah Fatimah M. Ali and Hajjah Shahidah Ali Muhammad, Co-Founders, in her home to plan the program which was first called the Older Muslim Women’s program. The first meeting was held at the Wynnefield Cultural Center in Philadelphia, PA in June, 1989.

After that meeting they started to search for a permanent location to have their meetings. Hajja Rafiqa wrote letters to a number of Masjids, and Hajjah Fatimah spoke with Imam Abdul Aleem who was the Imam at that time at Masjidullah. He was the first to respond and said we could have the program which became known as the Jewels of Islam at Masjidullah.

The Jewels of Islam Program is for older women 50 years and older. There are 108 members and 1 volunteer under 50. The program has operated as an all volunteer senior program for older adult women for the past 20 years. The age range of the members is 50 to 96. Jewels members reside in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Delaware, Arizona, North Carolina, and Georgia. The program has Islamic, educational, nutrition, health, supportive, recreational and intergenerational activities.

A variety of professional speakers in the field of aging address members on topics pertinent to the older adult population. And, the Jewels of Islam have been active in having a multiplicity of fundraisers towards the senior housing development effort.

Just as we need to focus on our youth, we have to honor our elders and build upon the legacy they have left for us. They have so much wisdom to give and owe them so much for making it possible for us to be comfortably Muslim in America. I hope that many of you can give to Muslim foundations and help them build endowments. We really need to look to Muslim institutions such as the awqaf system in order to increase our sadaqah. By helping build a waqf, you are planting a tree that will shade weary travelers and yield fruit that can feed generations. Our schools, masajid, charities, and scholarship organizations shouldn’t have to live precariously month to month begging for what they need. Ultimately, this is why we need savvy Muslims who are adept at business (and ethical) who can help build endowments. InshaAllah through efforts like Jewels of Islam, we can move beyond just talking the talk, but walking the walk. We can show how Islam is a mercy and that Islam provide comfort and relief not only just to its adherents, but to the society as a whole.

The Muslim blogosphere was a place where many people could speak freely. It has brought people together, started a flowering of intellectual thought, and gave expression to thousands of Muslims. People whose voices were rarely heard, especially on the minbar, were now capturing the attention of Muslim leaders. It didn’t matter if you earned a PhD from Harvard or with your GED, whether you graduated from Azhar and became hafith al Quran or your weekly MSA halaqah and knew three surahs, whether you had an ijaza to teach Maliki fiqh, or you just took shahada and and only read the first chapter of the Halal and Haram in Islam, whether you were renown for your piety and scrupulousness, or just wrote a post with your live-in girlfriend reading it over your shoulder, everybody could weigh in and say something. Practicing and non-Practicing Muslims, cultural nominal Muslims and the devout, Salafi, Sufi, Sunni, Shi’ite, all have a stake in the public discourse on what is authentically Islamic. While that public conversation yielded some fruitful dialog, there have been many times when the exchanges have sown seeds of discord and created greater rifts. People have been slandered, backbit, and insulted, in addition to whole communities misrepresented, and misinformation disseminated. Enmity developed out of heated exchanged even though the people would have likely been friends if they knew each other in person. The anonymity of the blogosphere has allowed for people to write with a type of violence and hostility that they would never display in their docile lives in their cubicle workspaces. And sometimes people may read into an email exchange or post some type of negativity when none was intended. All-in-all, the blogosphere is like an Afghan meadow, beautiful but full of mines.

Ever wonder why you don’t see our ‘ulema involved in online disputes? Numerous imams and scholars have discouraged their followers from spending too much time online because of its unsettling content and endless flame wars. Thinking back to the years when I used to spend an inordinate amount of time in petty spats in the blogosphere, I have a sense of regret. One, for the waste of time. Often, I knew that I wasn’t going to convince the person I was arguing with that their stance stood on shaky grounds. I was often more concerned about the general audience who may read a post. When it came to the posts about gender, ethnicity, or Islam, I worried that some unquestioned statement would damage someone’s self image and cause them to question themselves. I know how demoralized I felt growing up when I came across to a racist stereotype and did not have the tools to dismantle it. As my training as a writer developed, I engaged in many public battles. I wont battles, but never a war. I noted how people often didn’t really engage in what I was trying to say. They had their preconceived notions, often about me, that influenced whether they were receptive to what I had to say. I found that the the two camps on any issue were already entrenched.

Second, I think back with regret over the way I treated some people. There were times when I could have been not so heavy handed with people who were less informed about an issue than I was. Being proved wrong can be humiliating. There were a few times I knew I had basically gave somebody the intellectual smack down. Nobody who has good intentions wants be called out for being prejudiced. And there were times when I argued that someone was a bigot, a sexist, etc. Things I wrote in the past rubbed people the wrong way and I know that I will continue to write things that many don’t agree with. But now, as I mature and am comfortable with who I am, I am concerned with the method of how I share my thoughts. My brothers and sisters have rights over me, just as I have rights. And each of us have the right to not be harmed, physically or emotionally. The rights that we have over each other are meant to bring us together in our shared humanity. Unfortunately, because we lack adab, etiquette, our conversations can spiral out of control.

Imam Ghazali writes:

Silence includes abstaining from contention and contradiction whatever your brother talks about.
Ibn Abbas said: Do not dispute with a fool, for he will hurt you; nor with the mild man, for he will dislike you. The Prophet (God bless him and give him Peace!) said. If a man gives up contention when he is in the wrong, a house will be built for him within the Garden of Paradise; but if a man gives up contention even when he is in the right, a house will be built for him in the loftiest part of the Garden.” While it is his duty to give it up if he is in the wrong, the reward for what is above duty is made greater. For to remain silent when one is right is harder on the soul than keeping quiet when one is wrong. Recompense is in proportion to the effort.
The most serious causes that fan the fire of ranour between brothers are contention and disputation. These are the very essence of variance and rupture. For rupture starts off with opinions, then becomes verbal and finally physical.

The Prophet (Peace be upon him!) said: Do not fall out one with another, do not hate one another, do not envy one another. Do not break off one with another. Serve God as brothers. The Muslim is brother to the Muslim. He does not wrong him or offend him or forsake him. A man can do no worse than disgrace his Muslim brother.

The worst disgrace is contention, for if you reject what another says you accuse him of ignorance and stupidity, or of forgetfulness and absent mindedness in understanding his subject. All this contitutes disgrace, annoyance and alienation.

According to the tradition of Abu Umama al-Bahili:
God’s Messenger (God bless him and give him Peace) came out to us as we were disputing. He was angry and said. “Give up contention because there is little good in it. Give up contetion because the use of it is small, and it stirs up enmity among brothers.”

One of the early believers said, “If a man quarrels and disputes with his brother his manliness diminishes and his virtue goes.

Imam Ghazali was not alone in advising us to avoid quarreling. Haddad writes:

Beware of arguments and wrangling, for they cast rancour into the breasts of men, alienate hearts and lead to enmity and hatred. If anyone argues against you and has right on his side, accept what he says for truth must always be followed. If on the other hand he is wrong, leave him, for he is ignorant, and

God has said
“And turn away from the ignorant.” [vii :199]

The Quranic advice to turn away from the ignorant, and even telling disbelievers “To you, your way, and to me mine,” is extremely helpful. I use this advice in avoiding spats with Islamaphobes. There is clearly wisdom in walking away from a dispute, even if you know truth is on your side. Once you have reminded someone of the doing the right thing, or a correct stance, or warned them with good advice, you have done your service. If they wish to dispute, it is better to go about your business.

But sometimes arguments are unavoidable. Debates are important during this Age as Muslims are assessing institutions and practices, trying make their Islam relevant towards solving their world’s problems during this tumultuous time. But out of these debates arise many conflicts between religious authorities and lay people. A number of scholars have taken a stab at creating pacts of mutual respect. But many people don’t respect it for fear of losing their autonomy in interpreting Islamic beliefs and practices. A respected Muslim noted that the primary cause of the fragmentation of the Philadelphia Muslim community is due to how we deal with conflict. We have heated spats and then go through avoidance. Although there are polemical battles, the muslim community has done little in the way of conflict resolution. It is apparent that conflict resolution, or lack thereof, is a major problem in the Muslim world. Just look to Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia, and Pakistan to see how Muslims are at each other’s throats.

The politics of disagreement has wreaked havoc on our interpersonal relationships, on our communities, and the entire ummah. I think we can turn to a little advice from career coaches, management consultants, and community builders to see how we can effectively deal with conflict. Multi-national corporations, international agencies, and nation-states use similar methods in negotiating pacts, laws, and deals. Politics is all about negotiating conflicting interests. I did a little internet research and found a few sites that outlined strategies for dealing with interpersonal conflict. An article on Mind Tools, a site for Career development, outlined some of the theories for conflict resolution. I thought it would be useful to bring them here:

The “Interest-Based Relational Approach”

…Commonly referred to as the “Interest-Based Relational (IBR) Approach“. This conflict resolution strategy respects individual differences while helping people avoid becoming too entrenched in a fixed position.

In resolving conflict using this approach, you follow these rules:

Make sure that good relationships are the first priority: As far as possible, make sure that you treat the other calmly and that you try to build mutual respect. Do your best to be courteous to one-another and remain constructive under pressure;

Keep people and problems separate: Recognize that in many cases the other person is not just “being difficult” – real and valid differences can lie behind conflictive positions. By separating the problem from the person, real issues can be debated without damaging working relationships;

Pay attention to the interests that are being presented: By listening carefully you’ll most-likely understand why the person is adopting his or her position;

Listen first; talk second: To solve a problem effectively you have to understand where the other person is coming from before defending your own position;

Set out the “Facts”: Agree and establish the objective, observable elements that will have an impact on the decision; and

Explore options together: Be open to the idea that a third position may exist, and that you can get to this idea jointly.

By following these rules, you can often keep contentious discussions positive and constructive. This helps to prevent the antagonism and dislike which so-often causes conflict to spin out of control.

There are numerous ways we can deal with disputes, but is clear that we should derive our understanding from the Quran and Sunnah. We should work within our own tradition, taking the advice of Imam Ghazali, who helped revive the Faith during a time of tumult. We can also build upon it by drawing practical lessons that are in line with the spirit of religion. First, we should ask ourselves how our Messenger dealt with conflict. What was his adab when correcting or enlightening someone? How did he treat people? And then we should find ways to inculcate those values and practice them. My husband highlighted the hadith in which our Prophet said, “My community will not agree upon an error.” In unity, there is strength, but in our divisiveness and discord we have weakened ourselves and have committed many errors.

Sometimes I hear news that reminds me of the passing of an era and the fragility of our existence. The most recent natural disasters, the earthquakes in Haiti and Chile, are obvious examples. But there are also personal reminders. The toddlers I used to carry on my hip are now in college and having their own children. My students pretty much consider the Space Shuttle Columbia, the first Gulf War, Glasnost, Reagan, and the Rwandan genocide ancient history. And stars that I danced and sang to as a little girl are passing away. Today was a chilling reminder for me, Guru is in a coma following a heart attack. I think it especially hits me because his hey day was during the height of my youth. While I can look back fondly at memories like these:

I can’t be too nostalgic and romanticize my teen years. A while back I wrote this post about this song and the profound influence that Hip Hop and Islam had upon me. The giants of my youth are reaching middle age and a chapter of my life is closing. Although the years I spent in school contributed to a sense of extended adolescence, I’m glad I finally grew up. I can’t sleep on the on the imminence of meeting my Maker sooner rather than later. I know that my Lord will ask me what did I do with my time. I know that He will ask me did I live my life to the fullest, cherishing each precious moment and opportunity.

My mother was an excellent cook and we almost always had home cooked meals. I grew up in a multi-cultural home ( a very interesting mix and sometimes clash of culture of Black American, West Indian, and White). We were used to sharing food with our neighbors and friends, living in Filipino immigrant and predominantly Mexican neighborhoods. My mother made soul food, West Indian food, and classic American dishes. Even now, she can throw together Vietnamese soup or Pansit (a Filipino noodle dish). As a little girl I remember the wide array of dishes, from fried or baked chicken, chicken dumplings, curried goat, salt fish, pilau, beef stews, steaks, boiled crabs, fried fish, bbq ribs, and stir fries. I love cooking. So many of our family celebrations and gatherings involve cooking for birthdays, celebrations, and holidays. Sometimes the meals were impromptu, where my brother would go and pick out live crab from the Asian market and buy some steaks, potatoes, and salad from the grocery store. My brother is a good cook and outside of my grandmother, he makes the best fried chicken ever.

In addition to us both having a sweet tooth, my husband and I share eclectic pallets. And we get to indulge, living in a neighborhood full of wonderful halal restaurants specializing in food from Morocco, Senegal, Lebanon, and America. While the food is good, I find that home cooking is easier on the stomach, as well as the wallet. But sometimes I don’t feel like cooking, my body rebels and my mind shuts down the creative process necessary for composing a master piece. On those days, we can go to Saad’s, Kilimanjaro or Halal Bilal’s. It is tempting to eat out all the time, but I try not to. Since I started teaching full time in October, I don’t have much time to prepare the elaborate dishes I used to make during the week. But I still try to find time to squeeze in some home cooked food. Last year, one of my first friends in Philadelphia, Safiyyah, bought me and my husband a crock pot as a house warming gift. It has given us countless meals that have given us sustenance and comfort. Each time I make a meal using the crockpot, I think of my sister with gratitude. I just wanted to thank her publicly for her warmth, graciousness, and hospitality. Please make du’a for our sister who has helped me and so many others.

I’m not able to make a comment on a blog where I offended the blog owner. As a Muslim, I think it is important to apologize to your brothers and sisters if you say something that is harmful. I have offended my both Yursil and Aaminah on her blog post, Response to Some Responses to Yursil’s Series of Posts. Yursil’s original post can be found on his blog with the first in the series titled, Surburban Capitalist Islam-List of Beliefs. I did not comment on Yursil’s blog because I had little problem with his critique of various institutions and practices. But I did discuss his response to my weighing in on a conversation that spun off from his series. It was never my intention to injure anybody’s spiritual family member in her own house. Writing in a public forum, I assumed that all parties were aware of the various critiques. Although my intention was to explain my position, it was a lapse on my part. I assumed the author was aware of the ongoing debate because the post was a response to the responses. Although my comment was a side note, I did believe that by proxy the blogger shared similar views about my historical perspective and academic training with Yursil. Finally, I assumed Yursil would be aware of my public comments about our public exchange on Marc’s post here. Commenting on my own blog is by no means an attempt to further the offense, but rather to make a public apology following a public reminder. I hope I’m not a scourge or silencing anyone’s voice by doing so.

Your striving for what has already been guaranteed to you, and your remissness in what is demanded of you, are signs of the blurring of your intellect.

Ibn Ata Allah, Kitab al-Hikam

Being the consumate pessimist, I know all about the ways worrying and brooding can bring someone down. My first memories were shrouded in a profound sense of loss with the passing of several close family members months of each other. In the years following, I, like many other sensitive children, had learned to live with sadness and isolation. I was hard on myself and my family always had high expectations for me. Growing up, many of my dreams, hopes, and aspirations did not come true. Whatever I did attain did not come with ease. In fact, most of my adult life was spent overcoming some obstacle or challenge, dealing with some disaster’s aftermath or fall out, or strategizing to avoid some impending doom. I struggled and the struggle became part of me. Frankly, it was exhausting. I’ve spent many years seeking spiritual guidance, only to find that emotional issues which came from my experiences have been major blockages to that type of development. I think a major break for me followed some of my harrowing experiences in the MIddle East when everything came together despite the precarious situations I had been in. During that time, I was exposed to the wisdom of Ibn ‘Ata Allah. Many of his aphorisms addressed issues such as anxiety, sadness, and spiritual despair.

Working with teachers and community leaders, I find that many of us are plagued by many of these negative emotions. Hence, our spiritual development has been hampered. Many Muslims aren’t entirely happy, or we don’t allow ourselves to be. We are often worried, stressed, and unsatisfied with the state of affairs within the community, our lives, and the broader world. In fact, much of our community work comes from dealing with fear or malaise, rather from enjoying working in the community because one, we’re doing it for our Lord, and two, being around our brothers and sisters brings us much comfort. Often our conversations over supposed relaxing dinners are full of complaints, criticisms, and pessimism. “Muslims aren’t doing anything right.” “Muslims everywhere are humiliated.” “Everyone hates us.” “We are all fractured.” “Our communities are falling apart.” “We are losing our children” “Nobody is living the true spirit of Islam.” etc etc. Our general negative attitude, hyper-criticism, hyper-intellectualism, self-righteousness, and self loathing have all contributed to a bunch of unhappy people. After hearing adult Muslims complain so much, there is no wonder why our kids are bouncing out of our communities. We are not providing happy examples where Islam is a solution, where we are satisfied with our Lord.

I’ve complained about many things in the past. And I’ve spent many years worrying about everything coming in the future. My blog is also a bunch of critiques and analysis of many social problems. Despite these complaints, my quality of life has improved so much since I’ve been Muslim. I have gained so much meaning in my life that I would never have had if I chose a different faith. I have found a wonderful husband and have met amazing friends from all over the world. One friend who is non-Muslim commented that by becoming Muslim I have become closer to my true self than I had ever been. I have travelled and seen things that I would have never dreamed of. Allah has been good to me and nothing I can ever do could warrant such mercy. The only thing I can work on is becoming happy.

I know it is hard for many of us. And I don’t want to sound hokey. But my hope is that each one of us finds a way to lift up our spirits. There are numerous things that we can do to make ourselves a bit happier. I found a few suggestions in this article,Five Things that Will Make Your Happier

Here are five things that research has shown can improve happiness:
1. Be grateful – Some study participants were asked to write letters of gratitude to people who had helped them in some way. The study found that these people reported a lasting increase in happiness – over weeks and even months – after implementing the habit. What’s even more surprising: Sending the letter is not necessary. Even when people wrote letters but never delivered them to the addressee, they still reported feeling better afterwards.
2. Be optimistic – Another practice that seems to help is optimistic thinking. Study participants were asked to visualize an ideal future – for example, living with a loving and supportive partner, or finding a job that was fulfilling – and describe the image in a journal entry. After doing this for a few weeks, these people too reported increased feelings of well-being.
3. Count your blessings – People who practice writing down three good things that have happened to them every week show significant boosts in happiness, studies have found. It seems the act of focusing on the positive helps people remember reasons to be glad.
4. Use your strengths – Another study asked people to identify their greatest strengths, and then to try to use these strengths in new ways. For example, someone who says they have a good sense of humor could try telling jokes to lighten up business meetings or cheer up sad friends. This habit, too, seems to heighten happiness.
5. Commit acts of kindness – It turns out helping others also helps ourselves. People who donate time or money to charity, or who altruistically assist people in need, report improvements in their own happiness.
Lyubomirsky has also created an iPhone application, called Live Happy, to help people boost their well-being.

Following some of this advice is especially hard for someone like me. But I’m working on it. Sometimes we human beings choose to live in our own righteous indignation.But being grateful has always picked up my spirits. So, I’m definitely going to follow that advice. I especially relate to finding your strengths and knowing who you are. Be kind to others and give to those who are less fortunate. We should think about someone who has helped make a difference in our lives. Remember the saying “He who does not thank people, does not thank Allah.” My husband points out that we as Muslims, are not supposed to be pessimistic. Even if we think it is the last days, we should still plant our crops. We should still work hard on creating lasting institutions that will leave a positive impact on this society. We can’t just pack it up and call it a day. Even though things may look bad in the Ummah, we can’t become paralyzed by wallowing in despair. As believers, we have to look on the positive side with hope that Allah will guide us. We are supposed to be the best amongst people. But so much fitnah is caused by the politics of despair. Let’s not be so critical of others. Fault finding leaves a bad taste in everyone’s mouth. We’re not all doing everything wrong. Some people are really trying and there are things that are working. Nor should we be hyper-sensitive about critiques against ourselves if we are willing to critique everyone else. We should constantly take assessments of what we’ve done wrong, but also take into account what has been done right. I’m not saying that we should follow all pop psychology blindly. But this study is really reinforcing common sense. But as one of my colleagues pointed out: Muslims aren’t using their common sense much lately.

…for me as it provides clear evidence demonstrating the demise of American Music. Video Gaga’s blog entry, “We are the world remake takes on new meaning,” left me quite shaken. The article states:

Lionel Richie was rightfully hesitant to rerecord “We Are the World,” the 1985 global anthem he wrote alongside Michael Jackson to fight famine in Africa.
More than 40 artists under the umbrella USA for Africa joined to record the tribute that raised more than $60 million.
Richie felt the song was iconic and should not be revisited,

With the state of music today, I understand.

…but he changed his mind after the recent devastation in Haiti following the tragic 7.0 earthquake in January that left more than 100,000 people dead and millions displaced.

I feel your pain Lionel as the new version hurt my ears at times. Sometimes in life, we have to make difficult decisions. I was moved by the 1985 original below:

The new version is here (warning: video features auto-tune and Wyclef):

Despite the musical travesty, Haiti still needs your help. I urge you to give to world25.org. We can help the people of Haiti and, perhaps, put Wyclef out of his misery.