I’m tired. Not just because last night I slept only four hours. But I’m tired of wasting my intellectual energy and spare time on pointless debates. Most people aren’t interested in dialogue. I am not saying that I haven’t had great exchanges. I have gained insight into a lot of issues from a few people. I have found like minds and not so like minds. I have met people who inspired me. But at the same time, I have ran across many people who are demoralizing. A lot of blogs are not much more than intellectual masturbation or soap boxing. People arguing, condemning, judging, assuming, generalizing just to make their point. What point? I am tired of people so intent on proving a point of speaking AT you and haveing a conversation WITH you. There are insightful blogs, especially the ones where the writers bring the readers into their world. When people share their personal experiences or things that give their lives meaning, I feel like they are reaching to connect. Connecting and understanding is important to me–not winning debates and defeating foes. I started writing to share my human experience and my all too human outlook. I read what people have to say in order to make sense of my world. But what I find is that even when something does make sense, people can make nonsense out of it. I think that at this stage I just need quiet, and if not silence then I need something full of harmony. Once I’m recharged, I will make good use of my writing time.
Margari Aziza
Reflections on the Intersection of Religion, Race, and Gender
Margari Aziza 
I have enjoyed your conversation on my blog.
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Thanks Gess,
I admire your intellectual inquiry, and energy. Keep pushing, asking questions, seaching for knowledge, and synthesizing information. Your insight is valuable. I have to take a time out from the quibbling, from the fitnah, and take care of me. I have seen a lot of disheartening things, most of them have to do with the sociological aspects of how people in our community live this religion. I agree with you, it is the people that make Islam seem inaccessible.
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Salaam Magari,
I understand what you mean in terms of people wanting to be on a soapbox, instead of people sharing their experiences. One thing I have learned is that you cannot let others determine the way in which you will operate. So being “quiet” must come from within (I am not making the assumption that this isn’t what’s going with you right now). If you are being quiet because of those other people then they have won–cause loud mouths love when they are the only one speaking. This comment comes with the best of intentions by the way– in hopes that no one is stealing your joy ๐
Roxanne
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Salaam Magari,
I admire what you’re doing here and often return to see what you’re up to. Don’t feel disheartened; just take a break, for YOU. It must be exhausting to write “to the world” the way you do and even reply to those who constantly criticize you. I tell everyone I know about your web site and how brave you are. I am sort of an outsider myself, in America. I’m a convert from an Irish Catholic American family; my in-laws are Pakistani, very nice, but very different people. I know exceptionally few converts like myself: female, career woman, who study the history/religion of Islam for herself and don’t just “do as you’re told/taught”, and, well… white. My world during this first year as a muslimah, has suddenly become interesting… for better and worse. I’m writing a book about it (slowly) because there is little literature out there for muslimahs’ experiences, and virtually no literature on positive conversions to Islam. Wish me luck ๐
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Salaam,
I understand what you mean – I have felt the same way. I struggle with the blogging world in my own way for some of the same reasons. May Allah bless you and keep you – your blog is one of the ones I enjoy most.
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I’ve only recently discovered your blog and sincerely request you continue your postings. They are informative, insightful, candid and thoughtful.
Best Regards,
American Bedu
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Salaams Margari,
I can relate to what you say. I’ve had my fill of fighting – especially where the battle is actually taking place inside another’s own psyche.
Allah defend you from all those wearying human sillinesses.
Abdur Rahman
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I think I wrote a few months ago that I was only mainly reading your blog from now on because as much as I put up, what I think is, an emotional shield the words I read on some of these blogs don’t go away. Yes, everyone can have his/her own take on an issue but sometimes it goes too far. I especially get sick of these simplistic, stupid rants about “black women this” or “black men that” or even “Arabs this”…it’s like, dude, are you basing this on your limited existence.
I believe in some strategic essentialism but with the hope that you are shedding light not adding to the problem. I do enjoy your blog because it is original and I enjoy reading other Muslims who are not afraid to think out of the box but not for mere shock value.
But you also owe yourself some peace. I pray that you get some quiet reflection, insha’Allah!
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everyone needs a break sometimes.
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