Last year I wrote about a teacher who was suspended for telling his student to “Sit Down Nigga!” I made a brief reference to the Michael Richard’s racial tirade in a blog entry about Cross cultural discourse on Black Culture and the Black Family . Even though the NAACP staged the funeral of the N-word, it appears that the N-word is alive and well and exploited by all sorts of people.
Let me tell you my most recent experience. I met a friend at a random franchise Mexican restaurant for a bite to eat. We haven’t been able to catch up in a long time. She’s from the East Coast and spent several years in New York. Anyone coming to Palo Alto from a major East Coast city often experiences a major culture shock. This is especially the case for African Americans who move from areas where there is a significant African American population. I know of a very WASPy guy whose father moved to Idaho because he felt like the Mexicans and Asians were taking over. One has to wonder how do some of the old timers feel when they see brown faces walking in their multi-million dollar neighborhoods and local spots . You see Palo Alto is an affluent suburb of San Francisco that is predominately white. Rarely do I experience racial hostility, except for the one time when my brother and I were seated next to a skinhead couple at another more trendy franchise restuarant. He had a Black jacket that said “White boy” and “Fuck all yall!” his girlfriend wore a hat that said “Skin.” I am sure they felt like us two Black people invaided their white space of Palo Alto. They didn’t say anything to us, but then again there were only two of them. The issue was that they wore their white supremacist ideology as accessories in order to let people like me and my brother, and the dozen or so Somoans who would have destroyed them in an altercation, that this was their town and Fuck all of us.
While this was a rare occasion, I do get other instances when I am very much aware of my outsider status. Normally, I get stared at a lot. Last Monday, one of my friends who is racially ambiguous but clearly not white noticed how all these white people stared at us. Some with mouths agape. I assured her it could not all be just because I am black or they are staring at my hair. On occassion someone will pay me a compliment. So, I just assume they are staring for more positive reasons. Not that I should let that get to my head. But last Friday, an old white man at a cafe just stared at me with one of those stone cold stares. I swear it had to last about 20 minutes. There was no friendliness involved, just one of those stares that made me quite uncomfortable. But I tried to act like everything was normal and not let it phase me.
Maybe something was in the air this past week. But it wasn’t just me. I’m not hyper-sensitive or something, and it was more than just stares. That Thursday evening my friend and I ate outside at that franchise Mexican restaurant. After I got up to take wrap up my leftovers my friend informed me that a young hispanic/latina/Chicana used the N-word. She was talking to her Asian and White friends who sat at the table. From what I recall, she said “Oh he’s using that nigger talk.” Immediately I got pissed. My friend, who has dreads, just experienced a child commenting on her hair. This was the last straw. So, my friend went up to the girl and checked her. My friend’s point was that if this teenager felt comfortable saying the N-word in front of her, then what else does the girl have on her mind. The thing that was so disturbing was how comfortable she felt saying it. The girl defended herself by saying that her boyfriend was Black, so she’s not racist. So my friend said, “Would you use that language in front of his mother or grandmother?” The girl said that his mother wasn’t black, he was mixed. That logic amazed me. My friend tried to tell the girl how disrespectful that was and that as a young woman she needs to think about what she says. I am sure in that girl’s mind we were two Black women with attitudes, so I wonder how much did it sink it. We did not appreciate hearing the N-word appropriated by some teeny-boppers who don’t know the gravity of that word. We did not appreciate having to be confronted with that type of issue when all we wanted to do was relax and catch up. But somehow this young woman felt that it was okay to use the N-word within ear shot of two Black women. Who said it was okay? Was it her boyfriend or some of their Black female friends that gave them a pass? Did one of their friends tell them, “Hey you’re one of us, so you can use the N-word around us.” Guess what my friends, none of us are authorized to give out that pass. We ned to think about the gravity of our words when we say them. We need to hold ourselves and others accountable for what they say and how it can affect others.
Margari Aziza 
That was so not cute. Even less that she thought she was ok and that you were in the wrong.
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Its obvious that the younger generation of Americans don’t load that word with the same meaning as previous generations. They can read about it in a book but they still won’t get it. The proliferation of hip hop and street culture and accompanying use of that word has diluted it to the point where the original meaning is longer tenable. It will eventually go the way of the Dodo. I bet we use words in our everyday speech that were once considered wholly inappropriate for any occasion.
That young lady will probably rethink or at least look around before she uses that word in public again. Its embarrassing to have to get checked by strangers.
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Salams,
You know me- you talked about African literature, remember?
Anyway, I have a blog, and I’ve listed my problems on it. I was hoping you could advise me.
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This word has been ingrained in our history and is here to stay. Even though it is ingrained in our history its staggering the disconnect between the older generations and the younger generations, in which I include myself because, the civil rights movement seems so long ago, so they don’t have a clue as to the history of the word.
The bar has definitely been lowered. I mean I heard a radio program and it stated, Imagine being at the table, with Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Harriet Tubman, Marcus Garvey, and Tupac. Come on TUPAC, I laughed my head off but I realized that it was just a desperate attempt to connect to the youth.
The n-word is probably the most used word in the hood, and with rap, “the ghetto has gone global”. Here in the tri-state, Hispanic of the Puerto Rican and Dominican varieties use it just as frequently and comfortably as any black kid and among black kids, with no problems. I guess the logic is black, brown, and low-income, “ahh, nigga by association” Most of these youth, have never been in a situation in which they have really felt like a minority, with the exception of very limited space of times.
As far as myself, its appears I developed an alter-ego, which I seem to fluently navigate between, unconsciously, around non-black co-worker, to which I deal with school faculty, lawyers, judges, I come off as very proper, almost trying to prove to them or more like myself I can deal on that level, hours later if I with a close friend, I can throw the n-word and slang around with the best of them. The irony is the latter is feeling more fake to me now, as opposed to when I was younger.
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Sorry for what you had to experience. I think Hakim Now brought it up but I was wondering if you knew which N-word was used? Not everyone goes by it, but for me at least, there is a difference the -er and -a versions.
Nonetheless, I def agree with Khalid that the use of the word has become so diluted by younger generations (the -a version, I guess). I have def heard young white, Latino, and even Asians using the word. I wonder how these people, or that girl would have felt if you had used a racial pejorative usually reserved for their racial community?
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gazelle
I think hip hop invented the very subtle distinction of ger & gga, only because it’s easier to rhyme, but outside of the black community they don’t have a clue as to the difference. With that said I know people who get mad if you refer to them as Negro.
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I believe in no passes period. There is no reason for passes to be given. No one else is giving ’em out. Why would we? Why would we?
More so, quite few a black people need their passes revoked. Letting some fool from another tribe call you Nigga/Nigger/Negro and you not speaking up about it means you no longer have a pass your damned self.
Stealing a line from a friend: You need to train your white or other friends/lovers/etc. Train ’em.
The “N” word pass does not exist. Don’t be fooled. Don’t be fooled!
Can we all applaud you speaking up/ shutting up that nonsense. That makes me really proud. Seriously mostly people don’t have the gall or the good sense these days.
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I agree, lots of black folks need their passes revoked and become honorary Klans men because they are doing the their job for them. My friend, another great Muslim sister, is a much better woman than I. I was close to cussing those girls out.
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I always find it interesting when white women who are in interracial relationships claim to be so liberated and tolerant while using this word.
All I can say is stupid..
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