In her 1969 book, On Death and Dying, Swiss-born psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross outlined the five stages of grief of someone who is dying:
• Denial and isolation: “This is not happening to me.”
advertisement
• Anger: “How dare God do this to me.”
• Bargaining: “Just let me live to see my son graduate.”
• Depression: “I can’t bear to face going through this, putting my family through this.”
• Acceptance: “I’m ready, I don’t want to struggle anymore.”

The list was praised and criticized by grief experts. Some said the stages got people expressing their emotions; others said the stages were too rigid.

I thought these stages are adaptable to some of us sisters who’re still single in our thirties:
• Denial and isolation: “This is not happening to me. The most perfect guy in the whole universe will come rescue me.”
• Anger: “All men suck!”
• Bargaining: “hmmm maybe I’ll settle for this trifling brotha that’s in my face right now. Even though he is shiftless right now, we can work through our issues”
• Depression: “I can’t bear to going through this, I’ll be one of those crazy ladies with tons of cats.”
• Acceptance: “I’m ready, I don’t want to struggle anymore…if it happens it happens.”