Saddam killed the Mandelas


The first time we heard of his death through G.W. Bush’s assertion that Saddam killed South Africa’s first democratically elected President, along with his former wife Winnie, and the rest of the Mandela line.

Part of the reason why there is not this instant democracy in Iraq is because people are still recovering from Saddam Hussein’s brutal rule. I thought an interesting comment was made when somebody said to me, I heard somebody say, where’s Mandela? Well, Mandela is dead, because Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandelas. He was a brutal tyrant that divided people up and split families, and people are recovering from this. So there’s a psychological recovery that is taking place. And it’s hard work for them. And I understand it’s hard work for them. Having said that, I’m not going the give them a pass when it comes to the central government’s reconciliation efforts.

Fortunately for us, news of Mandela’s death are greatly exagrerated. Recent news reports inform us that Nelson Mandela is very much alive.

Urgent Message–Missing Sister

I just read this troubling news, Abu Sinan’s sister-in-law has been missing for almost a week. Tariq Nelson has more details Urgent Message from Abu Sinan

Faten Mawyah, 26, of Warrenton, was last seen at about 8 p.m. Sunday at a 7-Eleven on Sudley Road in Manassas. Police said she was using the payphone to make a call.

ABC news coverage
If you know of any information concerning her whereabouts, please contact authorities. In the meantime, please keep Abu Sinan, his wife and her family in your thoughts and prayers.

Missing…

As the reality of being a woman in the Middle East sets in, I am becoming increasingly aware of my limitations in social opportunities. I talked to a friend who is doing research in Europe. She has gone through the same thing. We have very few people to hang out with. Everyone else has their own things going on and not a lot of time. On top of that there is the whole language barrier thing.

But Kuwait is different from Northern Europe. It is not like I can go out to cafe and meet new friends. Nor can I just go for a stroll, catch a bus downtown and explore Kuwait city by myself. Buses in Kuwait are filled with male laborers. I was told you better be a tough woman to handle that experience. Honestly, travelling alone as a woman in the Middle East is the pits. During my stay in Morocco, I had to gather up the will to explore Fez. Sometimes it was just plain tiresome. First, you have to develop hard look in order to reduce the unwanted male harrassment (i.e. the walk by “zwaina” or the cat calls, I mean for reals they used the same sounds you called cats with). Then you have to be prepared to avoid all eye contact with any males, such as looking up at the sky and risk falling into some hole in the ground (and in Morocco there are many ditches, potholes, and uneven pavement). The most effective method is looking at the ground and watching where you are going. This too has downsides because you can miss some very nice sites and historical landmarks. Plus I had to map out my route, I wanted to avoid the 100 to 200 glaring eyes that follow any woman who passes the packed cafes. I wasn’t in Egypt long enough to make any lengthy commentaries, but from my experience Cairo seemed pretty much the same.

But Native Kuwaitis are pretty good about not harrassing, I’ve only gotten a few staredowns in stores and businesses. But, there are tons of single men immigrating from the Middle East and South Asia. I’ve heard that depending on the neighborhood, you can get annoying harrassment. But my friend said it’s not that bad as places like Sanaa, Yemen. There if you walk down the street and don’t wear the face veil you’re a slut, if you wear a veil you’re a slut, if you have your whole family in tow you’re a slut, because honorable women apparently either stay at home or they only have cars. But in Kuwait even the men who are pretty hard up for women (the country has a population of 60% adult males) don’t get too bad because no one wants to get deported.

So, with that in mind I don’t feel like I’m going to be bombarded by men whose pasttime consists of making lewd comments to passing women. But, I am following as much of the decorum and etiquette as I can. So, I’ve only had very limited interactions with men, that is even on a professional level. I am sure this while change when I enroll in my course at the University. But I wonder how much will that change. I really doubt I’ll make any substantive male friends or be able to chop it up in a mixed setting (unless it is at one of the East meets West centers). The most common interaction I’ve had with men is being told that a male is coming so go some place not to be seen, usually to my room or close the kitchen door. We have a Yemeni couple as neighbors. So, apparently in their culture women can be heard (but not talking to you if you are a male), but not seen. I know this because all day my friend’s husband gets hear our neighbor’s voice call our maid for various tasks “Adaam, Adaam!!” Very opposite of the old school thing about children, “Children are to be seen and not heard.” In the Middle East, by the way, children run the whole show. The children running freely in American masajid are just a taste of the wild antics in the Middle East.

But I digress. So I scratch the whole thing about being able to chop it up with Muslims of all shapes and varieties in Kuwait. In reality, there’s not much to do for a woman by herself. There are family things, stuff women do in groups. I don’t have any kids. If you ever want to feel like a fifth wheel, try being the only single girl on a multiple family outing. Basically, if the kids aren’t spitting up on you some one may want to spit on you if they think you are looking at their husband sideways. So, besides looking at the ground and occassionally trying to match the dozen children to mothers and fathers, I just looked at the ground feeling awkward like the poor miskeena over thirty and divorced without kids that I am.

I read a thing that said that Kuwait was family oriented. Unlike more open societies, those that follow gender segregation such as Kuwait have nice accomodations for women. There are Arabic and Islamic studies classes, social clubs, swimming pools, and gyms for women. But sometimes they can have their downsides, especially if you don’t understand Kuwaiti Arabic. One time I had to try to find information about some religious studies programs for women. But the building was closed to men, so I had to go at it on my own. Nothing beats down your confidence in your Arabic skills like trying to get information.

I guess I’m realizing that I haven’t explored much. I’ve seen a lot. I’ve been to several hyper markets, been to several car dealerships, the ministry of communications, two universities, to an indoor park, to a souk, prayed in a mosque, visited a Kuwaiti home, stuff like that. I realize I haven’t left the house since Saturday when I went food shopping. It’s just not as easy as a woman to meet new people or do new things. There are lots of Muslim women who live like this, never going out, cooking, cleaning, arranging, hanging out with kids, eating to fill the void, obsessively checking email and reading blogs. I have skyped a few times. IMed my sister the other day. On days like this, I miss television. There’s not a tv in this house. And I think I need one bad to pass the time. I’d prefer to have all the stations in Arabic. My eyes hurt from the Arab channel’s tiny pixelated boxes and chopping programs.

It takes awhile to settle in. I’m beginning to realize how far I am from home. I think about all the women who are at home, as their struggle to not be lost in their relationships, as the reach out to maintain their connections. Are they missing some of the same things I’m missing?

On privacy, blogs, and social networking sites

I am sure there are a few voyeuristic readers hoping for details of my personal life and travels in my blog. I may have a bit of a flamboyant side and can easily recognize my own extroverted personality. But I’m not an exhibitionist. I say this even though I got sucked into the world of myspace and facebook. Oh, and before that, blackplanet (how wack was that site?) There was a recent psychological study about this generation being more narcissistic. The article pointed to websites like myspace and facebook encourage you to be so. But the sad thing is that those social networking sites are made for disconnected people who suffer from lonliness and isolation. But often, people who spend hours on those sites close themselves off from real relationships with people right next to them. In an effort to feel unique and special, people post very personal information. The information ranges from your hobbies, interests, activities and affiliations, your favorite books, movies, classes, where you live, where you have traveled, your relationship status, your opinion, and your amazing circle of “friends.”

I especially find it annoying when the buddies post personal messages like this , “Salaams, Hey, it was so great that I finally got to meet you. We had so much fun with you hanging out at yadda yadda’s house! Joe Blow says hi. Love you! Your sis for reals” on the message board. Now, they know the message board was public. But the message board on myspace and the facebook wall are meant to let everyone else know that you are friends. I found it annoying when people had 1000+ friends on myspace. I always felt like there should have been 6 degrees of sepearation, like “Shared interest,” “A web associate of a friend of a friend,” “A person I added because I think they are kinda hot,” “Page with some remotely interesting content”, etc.

At first, I didn’t have much privacy settings on myspace. Slowly over time, I tightened my settings. I didn’t want any more lame artists trying to add me. I didn’t want to add half naked guys without shirts showing off their abs. Nor did I want half naked women, even though I was suprised to find friends from highschool dressed provocatively. They were models, of some sort. At first, I didn’t make my site private because I had a blog with, what I felt were, important things to say.. Then, I got to know a slightly disturbed young woman. She showed me how women can obsess about myspace. For some women it was an investigation tool. Some try to detail your circle of friends and “intimates” on the page. Or, it was a way that some people used to check up on someone they don’t have the courage to call or write. When I took down all my personal information and pictures from myspace people asked me why. Others understood the weirdness that myspace helped encourage. There were times I only went on myspace to read two powerful blogs, one by a brother who goes by the psuedonym “Dan Freeman” and Kali Tal. But still, I’d run into madness.

Over the past few years, facebook seemed like it was largely immune to many of the social-networking-site-illnesses that were endemic to myspace. Facebook began as a college networking site. And it was limited to a few good schools. And you could only join if you had an email account from one of the schools. It was a nice way to keep up with those who graduated and lost their student email accounts. We all were students and grad students, attended similar events and posted pictures of our volunteer organization activities and campus social gatherings. We also posted up pictures of our families, travels, and other personal pics. Then, it began to open up to the whole world. Now, people can google your name and find your facebook page. Scary, because that means that your professional and academic network can be subject to the same stalker’s scrutiny. I have to make sure I up my security and take down my personal pics. It is not something I want to share with the whole world, let alone my undergrad students.

For me blogging has raised a number of similar important issues. I have shifted my focus away from writing about my personal life. Numerous people have told me that I should write a memoir. As a creative writer, I’d prefer to write fictional accounts of some events of my life (but I’m not going to write anything until I push out this dissertation so that’s a long ways away). I really want to respect the privacy of the people I care and have cared about at one point in my life. Even though you can find out some general things that I’m into and doing in this blog, it is not a diary. I hope it doesn’t come off as a pity party either. I definitely don’t intend my blog to substitute for personal interactions with interesting people. But on the top of my list, I really hope my blog does not invite stalkers or people trolling for personal details of my life. But, the blog world does sort of invite that. And I’ve spent a great deal of time reflecting on this issue. I write details of my life as they come up and are relevant to the social issues that I’m exploring. My blog entries are not articles, nor are they essays. Nor are they polished writing (if I have ever achieved that in my entire life). My blog is also not a newsblog nor is it full of political commentary. I’m not interested in quantity, although I have read that the most popular bloggers post something everyday. I’m not interested in popularity either. I have written earlier about why I write . Some say my blog is provocative, but I don’t write in order to provoke people or agitate them.

Clearly, this blog is not solipsistic. I enjoy feedback. Much of it has pushed me to think. And in some ways this blog fulfills a basic need we all have, to be known and understood. But while I have a tolerance for some aspects of myself to be known by the public, I also value my privacy. I will continue to write and share personal reflections. But, I have come to learn the importance of maintaining some semblance of boundaries.

Arguments on History, Race, Politics, and Religion…

As much as I like to argue…I’m going to stop having them. Period. What is the point? I may want to be the know it all, but when someone feels strongly about something the conversation can go down south easily. I think if I stop getting into arguments with people on the net and in real life, I’ll have much more time to do other things like study Arabic, read, and write. In fact, I’m going to refrain from arguments in blogistan, and especially here on my blog. I have spent hours and hours carefully writing retorts to wack statements. Although I’ll avoid arguments in daily life, I’m going to speak my mind freely here in my blog. Fine, if you don’t agree. But once I make a statement, I’m not going to have a lot of time to argue with you. If anyone is a scholar of Islam and the African Diaspora, please email me so that I could have a cordial and scholarly exchange. I miss that. I miss the classroom, who would think that I’d miss 3 hour seminars and boring scholarly conferences? I’d like feedback on my work and in exchange, I’d read and give comments any work you’d send me.

I’m still passionate about what I do. I have built my life around research and writing the history of religion, politics, and race. But I am really disliking discussing either history, race, politics, and religion for fun. It makes bad dinner conversation and it’s really bad for the digestion. I have to quit discussing three subjects most contentious subject in my spare time in order to preserve my sanity, manage my time and maintain respectful relationships. I am not saying that my conversations won’t be deep. I’m just not going to argue or push my point of view. That’s all….

Hot Girls in Kuwait

With all the allure of oil wealth, big eyes, mascara, sexy shoes, and flowing robes yes Kuwait has hot girls. Besides my Maghribiphile tendencies, I’ve always had a bit of a thing for Khaliji style. Kuwait has hot girls and I have found out how quickly I’ve become one of them.

By hot, I mean literally and figuratively. It’s crazy hot here, I mean like beyond Kalahari desert hot. You walk outside and it feels like you stepped into a dryer. That heat hits you like when you open up the oven and stick your head in. Only everyday, walk into an oven. Even at midnight it can range between 111 to 105 degrees. I wear abaya here and hijab here. Underneath I have another layer or regular clothes. I try to wear something light, but it doesn’t matter after 100 degrees you can’t tell the difference. It’s just hot. No wonder why they thought of hell fire in this region. That sun pounds you. To make things worse, men get to rub it in our faces as they rock some infinitely cooler white fits. My black and navy blue hijabs and abayas attract all the rays.

With the sun baking you all day, it is natural that you’d see sun-block at the stores. I’ve seen the highest SPF value that I’ve ever seen in my life. You can get SPF 55 here. I’ve also seen sun-block/fading creame. Women come in all shades here. Some skin tones are more natural and others not so much. All over the Middle East, Fair and Lovely is sold all over the place. It is becoming easier to spot the women who are addicted to fading creme. I remember the first time I saw a woman who had achieved that perfect Michael Jackson skin-tone. You can also see the foundation caked on, shades lighter than a neck (Kuwaitis have achieved a loose style of hijab that manages to stay on) or hands.

I’m slowly getting my bearings straight here. Life in Kuwait is surreal. Everything seems so orderly especially compared to my brief stint in Cairo. Everything is new, I don’t think I’ve seen a building over 40 years old. My friend reminded me that I exchanged the Cairene rate race for the mall. I had to run to the Mac store at the mall, so I had my first taste of Kuwaiti mall life. I saw Khaliji women in Egypt and you can spot them a mile away. They have these big lumps holding up their scarves. A lot wear a ton of make-up, like they get lost in the M.A.C. wharehouse or something. Most women wear hijab and abayas or chadors. There are hijab wearing women with skin tight clothes. And the women love flashy to tacky high heeled shoes. I’ve even seen bedazzled cheap heals at the discount market. Maybe the poorer Kuwaitis are trying to keep up with those who can afford Manolo and Jimmy Choo or Shoe or whatever his name is. I’m not going to hate, because I love shoes. But dang, they took it to the next level. So, I spotted a number of ‘ho shoes beneath some abaya or even chador. I’ve seen women in niqab rocking florescent blue eye-shadow. Women rock the nicest shoes to run a simple errand or do a little midnight shopping on a Monday night.

One of the things that I do admire is that even though many Kuwaiti women wear tent-like chadors or loose enough abayas to conceal their “adornments” for their husbands and family members, they do keep themselves up. It is easy to let youself go and not have any body issues when you spend most of your public life all covered up. But seeing them shop at H&M and the M.A.C. store reminded me that there are hot Muslim women all over the world who love being beautiful.