So I got this random message this morning. Parts of the message was very similar to a message I received yesterday from a yahoo user named Saad_linsa. Prodgial and Saad_linsa it is the same person and that the person is not white, but South Asian or Middle Eastern. Just check out the bad spelling, misused slang, awkwad phrasing, and nightingale reference. But here is the message:
7:07:42 AM prodgial: hi sweet girl
7:08:53 AM marjan93: ?
7:09:08 AM prodgial: can we chat plz ?
7:09:15 AM marjan93: who are you?
7:09:56 AM prodgial: we both r stranger 2 each other but im hopin so much tdat u love 2 chat with me
7:10:52 AM marjan93: no thank you
7:11:03 AM prodgial: plz m i rude idiot
7:11:11 AM prodgial: y nobody talks 2 me
7:11:16 AM prodgial: im dat bad
7:11:20 AM prodgial: plz
7:12:00 AM prodgial: plz
7:12:10 AM prodgial: I really am the greatest ever to play this game, aren’t I?
7:12:14 AM prodgial: I won?! Oh my gosh – I never win! You must suck!
7:12:20 AM prodgial: What’s it like to lose so badly?
7:12:24 AM prodgial: OH YEAHHHHH!
7:12:26 AM prodgial: What happened? I’ve been making a sandwich for the past 10 minutes?
7:12:31 AM prodgial: Nana nana nana!
7:12:37 AM prodgial: Do me a favor. Wake me when you’re done losing
7:13:20 AM prodgial: u black bitch have u seen ur face in mirror who wana talk u u r like shit even worse thatn dat
7:13:40 AM prodgial: i just wana use n throw u
7:13:44 AM prodgial: hahahahaha
7:13:46 AM prodgial: lol
7:13:59 AM marjan93: that’s pathetic
7:14:03 AM prodgial: Oh man! That is hilarious! Sucks for you though, sorry ’bout that.
7:14:10 AM prodgial: You know something? I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing that.
7:14:21 AM prodgial: Ah, c’mon mannnn. . . that makes me want to take a shower.
7:14:24 AM prodgial: Seriously, were you even typing a language right there?
7:14:26 AM prodgial: You know something? I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing that.
7:14:41 AM prodgial: u have mede me 2 type such things
7:14:57 AM prodgial: ok buh bye nightangle
7:15:00 AM marjan93: I’m glad your ugly racism came out
7:15:06 AM marjan93: you’re a disgrace
7:15:17 AM marjan93: May God help you
7:15:18 AM prodgial: say it 2 ur self
7:15:26 AM marjan93: and forgive you
7:15:35 AM prodgial: when im showin decency u r nt even talkin to me
7:15:40 AM prodgial: u made me do dat
7:16:02 AM marjan93: I didn’t make you do anything
7:16:15 AM prodgial: hey ok i dont wanna hurt ur sentiments but im very depressed now
7:16:16 AM marjan93: I don’t know you but you are a racist
7:16:30 AM prodgial: nn anger on somebody jus fall on ur shoulder
7:16:41 AM marjan93: I feel sorry for you, but I’m done with talking to you
7:17:00 AM prodgial: i was little frutrated with my job
I then blocked the user…This sort of reminds me of how Black women were treated treated historically.
This is not the first time that I have been on the receiving end of this type abuse after I refuse the advances from a non-Black man. One of my friends noted that many men expect Black women to welcome their advances. I grew up in a neighborhood where, like many other African American women, I was subject to verbal abuse and physical threats from men who were angry at me because I didn’t accept their advances (For this reason I put on hijab for 5 years). People cannot blame hip hop as the sole source for negative stereotypes of Black women.
The black woman’s embattled defense of her body and her right to sexual self-determination constitutes a recurring theme in African American women’s literary tradition. […]numbers of other black women intellectuals, activists, and writers in the last century and a hall emphasizes the vulnerability of black women to the sexual predations of white men (during and after slavery) and the stereotype of black female lasciviousness and licentiousness that has enabled and excused white men’s rape–and the general sexual exploitation–of black women.
http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2838/is_3_40/ai_n18630052
vie Shockley’sreview of
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Buried alive: gothic homelessness, black women’s sexuality, and death in Ann Petry’s The Street
In the United States, the fear and fascination of female sexuality was projected onto black women; the passionless lady arose in symbiosis with the primitively sexual slave. House slaves often served as substitute mothers; at a black woman’s breast white men experienced absolute dependence on a being who was both a source of wish-fulfilling joy and of grief- producing disappointment. In adulthood, such men could find in this black woman a ready object for the mixture of rage and desire that so often underlies male heterosexuality. The black woman, already in chains, was sexually available, unable to make claims for support or concern; by dominating her. Men could replay the infant’s dream of unlimited access to the mother. The economic and political challenge posed by the black patriarch might be met with death by lynching, but when the black woman seized the opportunity to turn her maternal and sexual resources to the benefit of her own family, sexual violence met her assertion of will. Thus rape reasserted white dominance and control in the private arena as lynching reasserted hierarchical arrangements in the public transactions of men.
Jacquelyn Dowd Hall’s
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The Mind That Burns in Each Body
http://xroads.virginia.edu/~UG97/blues/hall.html
These tropes have been modified and play out through the pornographic gaze on Black women’s body. It also plays a part in the invisibility and dismissal of the Black Woman in Muslim societies where we are sexual objects but not suitable for marriage. Many non-Blacks see themselves as higher up onthe social ladder. Yet, being attracted to a Black woman destabilizes their notions of beauty and desireability. A Black woman rejecting them bursts their fragile egos and then they pull a Michael Richards in a violent racist tirade. “U Black Bitch!” What makes it sad is that often Black Arab women are treated in a similar way by crude, arrogant, frustrated men, who do not know their faith but exist in a state of jahiliyya. Afro-Lebanese women are considered promiscuous and Afro-Palestinian women hardly get any marriage offers. I know beautiful Afro-Arabs who are treated poorly in comparison to their fairer sisters. Some have spoken about the types of abuse they suffered. It just reminds me, everywhere I go, everywhere I transgress some circumscribed role for Black women, any time I do something that destabilizes someone’s racist hierarchy, I’m going to be a Black Bitch.
Margari Aziza 
That message was crazy rude. It’s strange because at some points whoever that was use correct English and in the same minute reverted back to incoherent gibberish. I have to say though; my experiences with non-Black men have always been pleasant. As a matter of fact, non-Black men have always been more polite to me (even when rejected) than Black men. My experience is if I reject a White man (or any other race) and they are truly interested they adjust their approach, back off for a little while, but ultimately try again. Black men, on the other hand, seem to have such fragile egos that when they’re reject they resort to name calling and belittling. It’s a shame any woman would have to be on the receiving end of such a boorish display.
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Yes, I was once called a ‘Janet Jackson wanna be’ by some dude who was flirting with me while standing in line at City Hall waiting to view the body of the Late Mayor Harold washington (first and only black Mayor of Chi Town). i think that’s about the worse I have ever been called by someone undeserving of my attention. It was true though…lol! I was dressed in black guess jeans, black shirt, hoop ear rings with key, the whole ‘Pleasure Principle’ look. I was once told i looked like Janet when I smiled and so well you know…
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Salaams Margari,
Was this person on drugs? From reading it, it seems like he was either completely off of his face, or else talking to people who weren’t there!
Subhan Allah! I wonder what my wife would say if I spoke to her like that and used the excuse ‘I was a little frustrated about work’!?!?!?! Ya Rabb!
Abdur Rahman
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A few of those lines that were correct english, were quotes from those little cartoons on yahoo IM…when my kids play them over and over the next time they’ll be given me the hibees…ewe.
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Subhana’Allah, a white muslim ‘brother’ tried to cyber sex me in a paltalk room, even AFTER I told him I was married! Ya’Allah! Where’s the respect in THAT?
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That message was appalling. But, I’m not at all surprised by it. I’ve heard non-black men say things like
“Oh I just want to sleep with a black woman so that I can know what it feels like.” (Venus hottentot syndrome, I call it and mind you they say sleep with, not date or marry 😦
After hearing comments like these enough times (and experiencing advances, cat calls, comments etc from men especially in Europe and Morocco, because of my skin color ( comments mind you that were distinctly racially specific and more expletive in nature than those hurled at my non-white comrades)
I have come to the conclusion that for many men, black women are exoticised (sp?) in a hyper-sexual way. And when they meet black women who don’t respond the way they expect they go schitzo like your chatroom buddy.
sick? appalling? just plain wrong? All of the above.
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Pingback: Women of Color Blog » Here’s what I’m wondering
lahum quluboon la yefqahoona biha…..
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Salaam Walaykum,
The difficulty I have is with sisters who find this hypersexualized attention by white and Asian/etc. men attractive. Many Black women wear the fact these men find them sexy as a badge of honor. I was talking about this online with some highly educated sisters the other day, and I could not get them to see the problem with a white man that only dates and even marries Black women. The sisters kept talking about “preference” and I kept asking, preference for what? I wonder what the white man gets from Black women only, that he cannot get from other women. And I don’t think it is the way we fry chicken.
We cannot uphold the double standard by pretending like we are not offended with Black men who only date/marry white women, but relishing in our modern Black enslavement. White supremacy has really got our minds sis…we can’t even tell when we are being raped anymore. I guess its ok if you “prefer” to be raped though.
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I get what you are saying Sunshinysmile. I do have a problem with people who date exclusively one group and then make racial essentializations to justify their “preference.” But the problem that I have is the first assumption when Black women date outside their race is that they are being objectified. It is a case by case basis. How does one know if by staying inside your race if you are not being objectified ? The importance is to interrogate these important questions and make sure that our partners see us as human beings, rather than some two-dimensional stereotype.
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This is a very long post…I hope you don’t mind.
Thanks so much for your reply Sister Margari.
In my opinion, if that caller was ethnically Arab or Asian, he is not a racist. He mistreated you a terrible way because he hates himself. He knows white men look at his sisters and mother like he looks at you, and there is nothing he can do about it. He gets some semblence of manhood by mistreating you. He does not have the power to be a racist. He is pitiful. Didn’t he sound pitiful?
I think the first step in assessing the situation is defining the term “race”. In my opinion, there are only two races really–white and non-white. White supremacists and most white people only seem to care about whether you belong to the white people club or not. And it seems like only the white people determine who is white, although the means of assessing whiteness fluctuates based on region, language, socio-economics, era, and individual ideals. To white people, nationality does not matter, skin color does not matter, culture, religion, and ethnicity does not matter. For example, a Chinese PhD in 2007 may be considered white to his colleagues, whereas a Chinese railroad worker in the 1800s may not be considered white to the same scholars. A woman with dark, tanned skin, light brown eyes and curly brown hair named Jennifer Heizner may be considered white, while a woman with very pale skin, light brown eyes, curly brown hair, named LaShawnda Jackson may be considered non-white. People who practice Judaism are considered white sometimes, and sometimes they are not. It depends on the intention of the white person who is determining the race of the person who practices Judaism. What race is a South African? What race is an Australian? A Puerto Rican? What race is an American? A Frenchman or German? These are nationalities. The people of these countries are either white or non-white.
Upon encountering another person, or situation involving people, the first question in the white persons brain-computer is, “Is this a white person?” And if the answer is, “No, this is not a white person,” the mistreatment begins…systematically. Think about it, only racists need “race”. All the non-white people are just fighting each other for crumbs…caught up in our physical features, our collective naming, our religions, our regional turf…and mistreating each other, as we were taught to do by the white people…when the main thing that determines whether or not we suffer (worldwide) is, “Is this person a white person?”
I could be wrong, but there is no place on the planet where white people are suffering en masse, like non-white people. And the white people have the power to feed, water, clothe, house, educate, and employ EVERYBODY. And they choose not to. In fact the suffering of non-whites is typically a direct result of some policy or action of a representative of the white people.
Now to the sexual stuff…
There is a power dynamic at work. white/non-white powerful/powerless adult/child
We know that it is not appropriate, in the workplace for example, for a boss to relate intimately with his subordinate…because the boss is taking advantage of the subordinates powerlessness. He is not afraid that she might sue him because he can get a better lawyer, he is not afraid of her father or husband because she does not have one, or he is not powerful enough to harm the boss. If the worker rebuffs the boss, the worker may suffer fierce retaliation. If the worker becomes intimate with the boss, she may be rewarded–but she is under the bosses full control and mercy. Eventually she will suffer. I have relative in a similar situation, and she is forced to regularly insult and mistreat her family to assuage her white husband and his family. On the outside it seems like roses. A powerless person cannot be a peer to a powerful person, much less a partner.
Similarly, a child cannot consent to intimate/sexual relationships with an adult. Even if the child thinks the relationship is acceptable, the child is not powerful enough to make that assesment.
So, in a world where white supremacy exists, and all non-white people are at the mercy of white people, how can a non-white person be a fully equal sexual partner to a white person? It is like child sexual abuse. Some children love their abusers…and their abusers say they love their child sex object, but that does not make it just.
I have heard someone say that white supremacy is so beneficial to white people, that white women even allow their non-white children to be mistreated…because if they loved them, they would be doing all they could to end racism/white supremacy. First of all, they would not want to have children that would be abused. Then, they would teach their children how white supremacy works. There must be SOMETHING about having a non-white man, that makes it ok to have non-white children who WILL suffer. I wonder what that something is? Perhaps it is POWER?Perhaps they enjoy their status as the white person in the house. Sometimes they even abuse their own children because they are non-white.
Perhaps this power dynamic explains why white people could not legally marry non-white people in the past. Because the non-white person did not have the same legal standing as the white person in the eyes of the State. For example, non-white women could not be raped in the eyes of the law…so I’ve heard, and non-white people were prohibited from voting, from education, etc. So how does a white person become “one” with a non-white non-person in the eyes of the State?
And finally, who are the ones screaming, “There is no racism! There is no white supremacy! Black people are just as racist! Let’s love the white people like they love us!” and so on. Typically they are non-white people who have had sex with white people. And their brains get fried. But that is just my opinion. I could be wrong.
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Sunshinysmile, I think you make some good points. But I don’t agree with your argument that an Arab (who has only recently been constructed in American society as a person of color although they are legally categorized as white) and South Asian cannot be racist.
Your argument seems to be based a singular focus on White Supremacy. This Black/White binary overlooks complicated power relations. It overlooks the discimination that ethnic Malays experience because they have dark skin. That overlooks the brutality that the Chinese, Malays, and Filipinos experienced when they were occupied by the Japanese who constructed themselves as white Asians .
Also the focus on racial dichotomies overlooks the role that intermediaries play in oppressing Black people. In places like Haiti, Angola, and Brazil, mixed raced people owned slaves and were in positions of power. In Senegal, the metisse were a class of their own and were beneficieries of European domination. While these people had some African ancestry, they identified culturally with Europeans and saw themselves as separate from Africans.
There is racism in the MIddle East where there are subjugated Black populations: Haratin in Morocco, Boris in Tunisian, Nubians in Egypt, Sidis in India, etc.
Even in the Sahara where the racial lines are fuzzy, the racial discourse is more rigid than any other place that I studied. There the Bidan (people who consider themselves part of white Arab/Berber society) saw Sudan (those they constructed as black) as sedentary people who were subject to slave raids and domination. Berber customary law in Morocco forbid Blacks from marrying whites. One Sultan enslaved all brown people who could not prove their free status. Any time there is a power dynamic where the person holds a more privileged place in society disciminates against a person becaue of their “race” or ethnicity I consider it racism. This is especially the case when the perpetrator sees the individual as an “other” and of a different race. I don’t buy it that Europeans are the only racists. Even if China was to rise as the world’s superpower, Black people would still be subject to a global caste system.
Ask how many Black women who travel abroad have been approached by men who assume they are a prostitute? Or the shock that you are not poor and begging? Or if they are illegal immigrants without cash to pay for products in the souk. I know personal stories from Afro-Arabs who would call their experiences racism. Much in a same way, Afro Arab women were considered more promiscuous and no one would marry them. Likewise, there brothers would get turned down by white Arab families. This is not to say that all Arabs are racist, but that racism exists.
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The only way to reach you
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SALAAM Aziza
Wow that was powerful. You had the patience and presence of mind to sit and let this man rant, and rant. After reading this, I think he was drunk, or on drugs. My experience with men of other races, muslim and non muslim is there is always a large share of them who truly “love” and “appreciate” black females. But among the ones who don’t there is alot of “ignorance” and “fear” yes fear. Have you ever salaamed say a brother from an Asian country to have him back away blinking like you spit on him? It’s that kind of silly ackwardness I mean. Lot’s of men desire and love black women, let’s not perpetuate this stereotype that black women aren’t lovable, and desireable, they are. And if you ask me, its not men who are the ultimate bashers of black women, its non black women who see us as competitors. And to boot really ignorant sisters who think that its “down” to berate and hate on sisters who marry men who aren’t black in the Ummah.
So it goes all ways.
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Can I ask a really dumb question why are you all caught up on race ….love is about love it is not turned on nor off by color …culture ….religious beliefs all those things are programed during childhood and adolesences if we could break that cycle we could begin to live the way we were meant to ….in peace …we all have the same insides ….i am white and i dont detern=mine who i love by any of those things my fiance happens to be west indian and my boyfriend before him was white and in jr high till i was 16 my first boyfriend was black so what
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