when I hear an untruth about myself I’m left speechless. I know I’m not the only one, and maybe I’m even guilty of it sometimes. But sometimes people make of things up just to hurt us. All it takes is just to twist the facts up just enough and stick it to you. It is those little deceptions from family, friends, and loved ones, that undermine any sense of belonging. Why even fight that misrepresentation when the person is so convinced? Sometimes I even wonder why try to belong at all.
Margari Aziza
Reflections on the Intersection of Religion, Race, and Gender
Margari Aziza 
As Salaamu Alaikum Sister,
It’s so unfortunate that you are feeling this way right now, but I’ve been there and I understand. Don’t allow other people to make you feel defeated and like you don’t belong, just learn from this experience who’s negative and who needs to be eliminated from your life. Continue to be who you are and insha Allah you will be connected with people who you honest, trustworthy, compassionate, and loyal, ameen!
LikeLike
salam sister, Since you are in that position so are a better judge of the situation but I have also seen that it even if the person is not convinced of the misrepresentation, people just believe it because it is repeated enough times or in other cases people make bad stuff about other people because it makes them feel better.
LikeLike
Wa Alaikum as-Salam Wa Rahmatullah
Margari,
I often feel the same way but I unfortunately cannot give you advice as to how to deal with this. Personnally, whenever the world around me makes me doubt myself or judges me ,debases me, etc, what I usually do is just go listen to a S.Webb khutbah online (I have yet to find a good imam where I live) because that’s what usually takes me back to Allah. And lately, I’ve been reading your blog because I’ve been blessed to realize that my reality and my thoughts are neither weird nor unfounded. For all the black muslimahs out there in the non-black world, let me tell you that you are a sunshine. Continue to write what you write and be who you are because this blog is the most encouraging, apeasing, reassuring, inspiring writing I have come accross.
So, there’s nothing untrue/abnormal about you. We are on your boat! Keep on sailing Margari.
May Allah bless you and yours. May you continue to be under His protection and guidance.
LikeLike
I know how you feel.
LikeLike
As Salaamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatu Dearest:
I love this hadith:
The Prophet (saw) said: “Whoever is mainly concerned about the Hereafter, Allaah will make him feel independent of others and will make him focused and content, and his worldly affairs will fall into place…but whoever is mainly concerned with this world, Allaah will make him feel in constant need of others and will make him distracted and unfocused, and he will get nothing of this world except what is decreed for him.” (Tirmidhi)
On the other hand, sometimes people close to us tell us things that hurt, and we benefit by looking at what they say and seeing if we can learn from it.
Lastly, some people just suck – they are insecure and have low self-esteem and they love to attack other people.
Especially if you’re trying to do good for the Muslim community – it’s the “crabs in the bucket” syndrome.
Hang in there dear!
LikeLike
As’Salaamu Alaikum w/r w/b,
You are so very right. When we hear something about ourselves we sometimes can’t believe it or are even afraid to hear the truth. But misinterpretation from close friends or even family does get frustrating. I know exactly how you must feel and for awhile, I had a feeling that no one else felt like this and that I was truly at fault somehow.
Allah Khair, May Allah (swt) keep you out of stress and that He may make this time easy for you.
**I enjoyed reading some of your articles after a very long hiatus**
Jazakallah Khair!
Wasalaam
LikeLike